Aunt Flo

Showed up.....like around 11 something...so I'm just going to put it as November 29 as day 1....


HERE'S TO A GOOD MONTH :)


SEND THE BABY DUST TO THE PENA FAMILY HOUSEHOLD!!!

Hormone Imbalance

I was laying in bed watching TV with Mark, when I go....Ugh, I'm cramping! He then said, Awww.....I want you to be pregnant! That just stabbed me in the heart. Mark has never just came out and said it like that before. He thinks when he says stuff like that, that it makes it harder on me. But the way he said it, he was just so sincere and so hopeful and sad all at the same time. It made me realize just how bad he too wants a baby and that its not all me that talks about it. He likes to keep things to himself, but that reminded me, that he too wants what I want.....We both want a family together!

We really want a family and sometimes I think our argument's and lashing out at each other has to do with trying all the time. It really takes a toll on a couple, especially almost 3 years of trying and 3 losses. I know there are plenty of couples out there that have been trying for longer and have more problems and even the couples who cant have kids, how hard it must be. I know we still have a ways of trying and figuring out what the problem is, but its still hard, cause we really just want to conceive the natural way.



I was researching about my pimples latley on the internet. I have been breaking out bad the past couple of months around my chin area. I looked it up, and it said most women who have that has problem has a hormone imbalance. So I then read more about it and it was talking about being off on your cycles and growing excessive hair. Which I have been growing alot of dark hair under my chin.....usually it was a few hairs, but no lie, I have to like shave under my neck....its bizarre....but it has only happened since I had my ectopic this summer. Im thinking maybe this past pregnancy knocked something off of my body. I havent had O pains since then, and my O and my regualr periods have been off. I was going every 28 days and knew when I was going to start. I dont know what to do. I want to go to the Dr and get it fixed, but I think Im just going to chill for the rest of the year and take my clomid a month and see from there. I do plan on going to the dr in January anyways, so if its different then good, and if not, I will bring it up. I didnt know if anyone else has had this problem or know anything about it?? Its just crazy, how one thing, could lead too so many other problems Im having....hmm...maybe my answers are right in front of me. :) Heres the article!

Treatments for Hormonally Influenced Acne in Women

When women in their thirties and forties suffer from acne, it is common to be very embarrassed to be suffering from a condition that is often considered a teenager’s problem. Acne can play a devastating role on a person’s self-esteem. When women suffer acne as they age, its effects can be detrimental on their personal and professional lives.

When acne is more severe than the occasional outbreak during a menstrual cycle, women rarely consult a medical physician. Relying only on the types of products that served them when they were younger, they are not taking into account the physiological changes they have undergone as they have aged. A common misconception is that treatments for teenagers are not for adults is very untrue.

Women who suffer from hormonal acne may also suffer from:

• Irregular Menstrual Cycles
• Obesity
• Infertility
• Diabetes

A physician’s exam and laboratory evaluation of hormone production should be able to explore whether or not a woman’s mature acne is a result of hormones. Just because a woman suffers from acne as an adult does not mean she suffers from the conditions above. Hormone levels can be aggravated by stress and diet as well as hormonal imbalance. This is why it is important to consult a physician.

The American Academy of Dermatology finds that the hormonal acne is most often influenced by androgens in the body. Androgens are hormones that stimulate the sebaceous glands and hair follicles in the skin. During menstruation, women, both young and old, tend to have acne flare-ups. Stress can also affect the levels of androgens, resulting in further breakouts. A vicious circle, because the appearance of acne may increase a woman’s stress. These adult-acne flare-ups usually occur most often on the lower face, chin, and jaw line of adult women.

Clues that help the doctor determine whether acne in an adult woman is due to an excess of androgen hormones are hirsutism (excessive growth of hair in unusual places), premenstrual acne flares, irregular menstrual cycles, and elevated blood levels of certain androgens. The doctor may prescribe one of several drugs to treat women with this type of acne. Low-dose estrogen birth control pills help suppress the androgen produced by the ovaries. Low-dose corticosteroid drugs, such as prednisone or dexamethasone, may suppress the androgen produced by the adrenal glands. Finally, the doctor may prescribe an antiandrogen drug, such as spironolactone (Aldactone). This medicine reduces excessive oil production. Side effects of antiandrogen drugs may include irregular menstruation, tender breasts, headache, and fatigue.

Who knows...

I'm officially two days late on my period. I really don't know the day I ovulated, because apparently I don't have O pains anymore and we were out of town when it was the time too, and I didn't keep track of it. I'm not the kind of girl who pees on a stick the first chance I can. I used to be that girl, but after all the disappointments, I just stopped and realized it was much easier seeing the blood, then no line. But now I'm two days and I will be honest, thinking about being pregnant, has consumed my mind. I'm thinking that maybe its what has stopped me from starting in the first place.

So this morning, I did pee on a stick. No line! So hopefully Ill start soon, now that I know I'm not pregnant. I hate starting my period right before a work week. Especially when Mondays are my long days.

I wish that having a period was just there....but for me, its the worst week of the month. Ill be open and honest and share with you, that I have to wear an overnight pad all day long, because that's how much I bleed. Ive been doing that since I was a teenager. And sometimes, I still bleed through those. They are uncomfortable to wear all the time and sometimes I even get rashes on the sides of my legs cause of how thick they are. My periods range from 4-5 days, but the last 2-3 days arnt so bad. I know every girl is different and I remember my mom telling me she was a heavy bleeder. It sucks though. I just wish I could wear a little one a few times a day and go on without my business. It just sucks.

So now that I know I'm not pregnant, hopefully I can start soon and start on my clomid. I have taken it into my own hands to try it for one month before going back to the Dr. I think what I would want done, is to see a Specialist....we are going to be approaching 3 years soon....in January....and enough is enough. I need answers or problem solving solutions here. I'm not getting any younger. I know this is all in Gods hands, but I also know he gives us Dr's.

I hope everyone has a great Sunday!

I believe

November 25

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. -Hebrews 13:16

9 years

Its been 9 years since my mom died. I cant say it doesn't seem that long ago, because alot has happened in between then.
I graduated High school
Went and finished my college for the year I went
Got kidney cancer
Got married
and got pregnant a couple of times and have been trying for over 2 years.

I miss her and wish she was here, especially when I don't know what to do about trying and losing my babies. I know she would have the right things to say and she would comfort me like no one could. My husband can and does it, but its good to have your mom, a woman, understanding or trying to understand what your going through.

She was the best woman I have ever known and met. She was funny, strong, strict, a Godly woman, caring, loving, and I knew she loved me more than life itself. On my moms grave she put on it.... Jesus is my Lord and Savior and under that, it says...Rachel's Mom. One day, Ill go out there and take a picture of it. She was proud of me and I know she would be of me now. I still try and live my life everyday, making her proud of me. I don't want to mess up and make mistakes, I'm going to live with for the rest of my life. She always wanted me to have a healthy and happy life. She tried anything and everything for me to have that. And I know that's what moms do for their children. You always want to give them more and better than what you had.

I love her and miss her dearly. I'm glad I got to know her and be with her as much as I did. I wish she was still here so we could talk about stuff we couldn't talk about when I was younger and a teenager. But one day we will meet again. There is not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that she is up in heaven taking care and playing with my babies. It makes it that special, since I didn't get to see and meet them.

I love you mom.....until one day, we will see each other again!!!

Shirley Gayle Fincher
March 12, 1959 - November 25, 2001

Thanksgiving

My new gravy bowl hubby bought me






















































My grandpa :) he was cold!!





My cat Bitty!

November 24

May the God of peace...equip you with everything good for doing his will... -Hebrews 13:20,21

November 23

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. -Romans 12:2

November 22

The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. -I John 2:17

November 20/21

He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth... -Daniel 6:27

November 19

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul... -Psalm 19:7

November 18

We live by faith, not by sight. -2 Corinthians 5:7

November 17

Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. -Psalm 16:1

November 16

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other... -Ecclesiastes 7:14

November 15

...Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry... -Ephesians 4:26

November 13

...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. -Joshua 24:15

November 12

"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." -Matthew 18:4

November 11

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. -I Corinthians 16:13

November 10

...Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. -I Peter 2:21

November 9

...Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob. He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk in his paths... -Micah 4:2

November 8

The path of the righteous is level; O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth. -Isaiah 26:7

November 6/7

...the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:23


6- New Moon
7-Daylight Saving Time Ends

November 5

"Test me in this." says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will no throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for is." -Malachi 3:10

November 4

From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. -Psalm 3:8

November 3

You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat... -Isaiah 25:4

November 2

If a man's gift is....leadership, let him govern diligently... -Romans 12:6,9

Election Day

November 1

Love the Lord, all his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful... -Psalm 31:23

October 30/31

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. -Proverbs 3:7

31- Halloween

October 29

How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. -Psalm 36:7

October 28

Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. -I Peter 3:3,4

October 27

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours... -1 Chronicles 29:11

October 26

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13

October 25

...O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8

October 23/24

...so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy... -Genesis 2:2,3

October 22

"I have come into the world as light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." -John 12:46



Full Moon

October 21

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight. O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. -Psalm 10:14

October 20

Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other. -Deuteronomy 4:39

October 19

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. =Romans 12:12

October 18

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him... -Psalm 103:11

October 16/17

Live in harmony with one another... -Romans 12:16


16=Boss's Day
16-Sweetest Day

October 15

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and will your soul and with all your strength. -Deuteronomy 6:5

October 14

But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always. -Hosea 12:6

October 13

...the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does... -Ephesians 6:8

October 12

We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us... -2 Corinthians 5:20

October 11

...God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19

Columbus Day

October 9/10

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life... -Psalm 27:4

October 8

...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. -Revelation 7:17

October 7

"The Lord bless you and keep you: the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to youl the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." -Numbers 6:24

October 6

"...in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

October 5

"...Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." -Matthew 4:4

October 4

...The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. -I Corinthians 2:10


My 25th Birthday :)

October 2/3

..."I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." -John 8:12

The 2nd marks 16 years of accepting Jesus in my heart :)

October 1

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. -Lamentations 3:40

September 30

Arise, shine, for your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. -Isaiah 60:1

September 29

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence... -Psalm 16:11

Septmeber 28

Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? -I Corinthians 1:20

September 27

Sing for joy to God our strength... -Psalm 81:1

September 25/26

"...whatever you ask for in prayer, believe you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24

September 24

I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Marker of heaven and earth. -Psalm 121:1,2

Septmeber 23

...rejoice in the Lord your God...He sends you abundant showers both autumn and spring rains... -Joel 2:23




First Day of Autumn
Full Moon

Septmeber 22

"Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father..." -Matthew 13:43

September 21

Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. -Psalm 34:14

September 20

The trees of the field will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land... -Ezekiel 34:27

Septmeber 18/19

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. -Psalm 32:1

September 17

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28

September 16...

...He will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness. -Micah 7:9

September 15

The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. -Psalm 85:12

September 14

God is exalted in his power. Who is a teacher like him? -Job 36:22

September 13

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but no despair... -2 Corinthians 4:8

Septmeber 11/12

Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? -Job 12:12



11- Patriot Day
12- Grandparents Day

September 10

The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters. -Psalm 24:1,2

September 9

How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you...

-Psalm 31:19

September 8

...but you are a chosen people...a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9

September 7

Be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." -Hebrews 13:5

Sick AGAIN

It started about Tuesday....I got a sore throat again and I just thought, maybe it was the fan from sleeping. But it never went away. Tuesday night I woke up at 3am ready to work. I think it was all the stress of getting everything ready for our feast at school. Then Wednesday night, I woke up around 3am again, because I couldnt breathe. It was miserable. Then Thursday, my throat hurt so bad and I didnt even sleep that night, because everytime I would lay down, my throat would feel like it was closing and I would wake up grasping for air. My throat and glands was that swollen. So Friday morning, since I couldnt sleep, went straight to the Dr. He tested me for strep throat and was sure I had it. I didnt have it, my test results came back negative and him and another Dr, thought it was strange. But he ended up giving me a shot in my boohiney and told me that it will help the swelling in about 48 hours. He said I will notice a difference in 24 hours, but really 48 hours. I didnt sleep all that well Friday night still, but I think I got a couple of hours and then last night, I slept really good. I finally, fell asleep in our recliner and then I gradually went and laid down in the nursery. Im still feeling tired from all the lack of sleep, but I think today Im going to nap. The Dr also gave me some antibiotics for 10 days and he said it should be all gone by then. You are supposed to take them every 12 hours, but I wanted relief that I wasnt doing that. I was taking them like every 6 hours, but I slowed down now, lol. I was miserable. I felt like I was going crazy. My body was shutting down, but I couldnt give it any rest. If you know me, you know that I need sleep. My body just feels so confused and out of whack.

I did read, that statistics say that the average person will get 2-4 colds this winter. Well, Im already at 2.....so maybe that'll be it for me.

Oh and I did have those white bumps all on the back of my tonsils....and the strep throat test, was miserable!!!!!!!

I think we have a plan

and that plan is.........................






drum roll please.........................









We are going to do clomid one more month. We are just going to order it, because we still have a prescription, with the 100mg and take it and if we dont get pregnant, then January, I will be knocking on Dr. Lamars door. We got pregnant with the higher dosage, even though it ended in ectopic, but I feel in my heart, to do this. It dawned on me today when I was talking to my friend about clomid. Why not just give it another try, then to go and spend $40.00 on a co-payment to talk to him about the next step. Hopefully I will be one step ahead......hopefully!!!

I mean, technically Im in my 2ww, and who knows, anything can happen.

Been thinking

I haven't wrote in awhile. I really have been thinking about my life. We are about to approach another year and yet I did get pregnant this year, I once again lost my baby. I don't want to do this all over again another year, without some answers or a healthy pregnancy and baby. I just knew 2010 was going to be my year, though it hasn't been the best, it wasn't all bad either. I cant complain, because I know God has blessed my family and even though I don't understand why I turned 25, going on 4 years of marriage and still have no babies.....I do feel blessed.

Ive been seeing the celebrities and everything that has been going on with them lately.

Jessica Simpson gets engaged.
Nick Lacey gets engaged.
Tony and Eva Parker get divorced.
Pink is pregnant.
Josh and Anna Dugger are pregnant with their second.

I look at Josh and Anna, and they got pregnant, had a baby girl and is pregnant again, all while I'm still trying for a first healthy baby. I guess I got bitter last night when I found out. I don't understand why its taking us so long. I don't understand why I cant get pregnant and have a healthy baby. I don't understand why its so much easier for some, than others. And, I don't understand how some drug addicts who don't even want a baby, can have them and give them up. And yet, we are trying and will love that baby no matter what. I know in life, we don't understand why things happen or why things don't happen. But I'm ready....I'm more than ready. I really think about going to my Dr's in December and see what we can and need to do. I know last time, my Dr wanted us to do genetic testing, but I'm so scared. I know I want to know an answer now then be disappointed over and over again. I guess we will do that. I really don't know how I feel about being put back on clomid. I mean, at 100mg we did get pregnant. Even though I do think that's what caused us to have an ectopic.

My mind hasn't been on ttc very much. We have been sooo busy since October and I haven't got to focus on any of it. Right now I'm in my 2ww, but I just don't think its our month. I don't know anything anymore. Mark and I have been grouchy alot at each other....its mostly him. I know we all get this way, and since the weather has been changing and us getting sick, I can understand it.

I want to lose some weight and everytime I tell myself I'm going to go to the Y, I'm tired from work and don't go. I hate it....I can literally feel myself get fatter and fatter. I want to feel better. I want to be healthy. GRRRRR.....why cant life be easy sometimes and not so confusing and disappointing?????

My grandpas birthday party

Popcorn for my gramps...he likes to snack on food and also it had santa, sitting in his chair, eating....reminded me of my gramps!!





































You know I wish I could go under each picture and explain it, but for some reason blogspot has been stupid and I cant....it messes up all the photos!! grrrr

Some items around the nursery