Aunt Flo

Showed up.....like around 11 something...so I'm just going to put it as November 29 as day 1....


HERE'S TO A GOOD MONTH :)


SEND THE BABY DUST TO THE PENA FAMILY HOUSEHOLD!!!

Hormone Imbalance

I was laying in bed watching TV with Mark, when I go....Ugh, I'm cramping! He then said, Awww.....I want you to be pregnant! That just stabbed me in the heart. Mark has never just came out and said it like that before. He thinks when he says stuff like that, that it makes it harder on me. But the way he said it, he was just so sincere and so hopeful and sad all at the same time. It made me realize just how bad he too wants a baby and that its not all me that talks about it. He likes to keep things to himself, but that reminded me, that he too wants what I want.....We both want a family together!

We really want a family and sometimes I think our argument's and lashing out at each other has to do with trying all the time. It really takes a toll on a couple, especially almost 3 years of trying and 3 losses. I know there are plenty of couples out there that have been trying for longer and have more problems and even the couples who cant have kids, how hard it must be. I know we still have a ways of trying and figuring out what the problem is, but its still hard, cause we really just want to conceive the natural way.



I was researching about my pimples latley on the internet. I have been breaking out bad the past couple of months around my chin area. I looked it up, and it said most women who have that has problem has a hormone imbalance. So I then read more about it and it was talking about being off on your cycles and growing excessive hair. Which I have been growing alot of dark hair under my chin.....usually it was a few hairs, but no lie, I have to like shave under my neck....its bizarre....but it has only happened since I had my ectopic this summer. Im thinking maybe this past pregnancy knocked something off of my body. I havent had O pains since then, and my O and my regualr periods have been off. I was going every 28 days and knew when I was going to start. I dont know what to do. I want to go to the Dr and get it fixed, but I think Im just going to chill for the rest of the year and take my clomid a month and see from there. I do plan on going to the dr in January anyways, so if its different then good, and if not, I will bring it up. I didnt know if anyone else has had this problem or know anything about it?? Its just crazy, how one thing, could lead too so many other problems Im having....hmm...maybe my answers are right in front of me. :) Heres the article!

Treatments for Hormonally Influenced Acne in Women

When women in their thirties and forties suffer from acne, it is common to be very embarrassed to be suffering from a condition that is often considered a teenager’s problem. Acne can play a devastating role on a person’s self-esteem. When women suffer acne as they age, its effects can be detrimental on their personal and professional lives.

When acne is more severe than the occasional outbreak during a menstrual cycle, women rarely consult a medical physician. Relying only on the types of products that served them when they were younger, they are not taking into account the physiological changes they have undergone as they have aged. A common misconception is that treatments for teenagers are not for adults is very untrue.

Women who suffer from hormonal acne may also suffer from:

• Irregular Menstrual Cycles
• Obesity
• Infertility
• Diabetes

A physician’s exam and laboratory evaluation of hormone production should be able to explore whether or not a woman’s mature acne is a result of hormones. Just because a woman suffers from acne as an adult does not mean she suffers from the conditions above. Hormone levels can be aggravated by stress and diet as well as hormonal imbalance. This is why it is important to consult a physician.

The American Academy of Dermatology finds that the hormonal acne is most often influenced by androgens in the body. Androgens are hormones that stimulate the sebaceous glands and hair follicles in the skin. During menstruation, women, both young and old, tend to have acne flare-ups. Stress can also affect the levels of androgens, resulting in further breakouts. A vicious circle, because the appearance of acne may increase a woman’s stress. These adult-acne flare-ups usually occur most often on the lower face, chin, and jaw line of adult women.

Clues that help the doctor determine whether acne in an adult woman is due to an excess of androgen hormones are hirsutism (excessive growth of hair in unusual places), premenstrual acne flares, irregular menstrual cycles, and elevated blood levels of certain androgens. The doctor may prescribe one of several drugs to treat women with this type of acne. Low-dose estrogen birth control pills help suppress the androgen produced by the ovaries. Low-dose corticosteroid drugs, such as prednisone or dexamethasone, may suppress the androgen produced by the adrenal glands. Finally, the doctor may prescribe an antiandrogen drug, such as spironolactone (Aldactone). This medicine reduces excessive oil production. Side effects of antiandrogen drugs may include irregular menstruation, tender breasts, headache, and fatigue.

Who knows...

I'm officially two days late on my period. I really don't know the day I ovulated, because apparently I don't have O pains anymore and we were out of town when it was the time too, and I didn't keep track of it. I'm not the kind of girl who pees on a stick the first chance I can. I used to be that girl, but after all the disappointments, I just stopped and realized it was much easier seeing the blood, then no line. But now I'm two days and I will be honest, thinking about being pregnant, has consumed my mind. I'm thinking that maybe its what has stopped me from starting in the first place.

So this morning, I did pee on a stick. No line! So hopefully Ill start soon, now that I know I'm not pregnant. I hate starting my period right before a work week. Especially when Mondays are my long days.

I wish that having a period was just there....but for me, its the worst week of the month. Ill be open and honest and share with you, that I have to wear an overnight pad all day long, because that's how much I bleed. Ive been doing that since I was a teenager. And sometimes, I still bleed through those. They are uncomfortable to wear all the time and sometimes I even get rashes on the sides of my legs cause of how thick they are. My periods range from 4-5 days, but the last 2-3 days arnt so bad. I know every girl is different and I remember my mom telling me she was a heavy bleeder. It sucks though. I just wish I could wear a little one a few times a day and go on without my business. It just sucks.

So now that I know I'm not pregnant, hopefully I can start soon and start on my clomid. I have taken it into my own hands to try it for one month before going back to the Dr. I think what I would want done, is to see a Specialist....we are going to be approaching 3 years soon....in January....and enough is enough. I need answers or problem solving solutions here. I'm not getting any younger. I know this is all in Gods hands, but I also know he gives us Dr's.

I hope everyone has a great Sunday!

I believe

November 25

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. -Hebrews 13:16

9 years

Its been 9 years since my mom died. I cant say it doesn't seem that long ago, because alot has happened in between then.
I graduated High school
Went and finished my college for the year I went
Got kidney cancer
Got married
and got pregnant a couple of times and have been trying for over 2 years.

I miss her and wish she was here, especially when I don't know what to do about trying and losing my babies. I know she would have the right things to say and she would comfort me like no one could. My husband can and does it, but its good to have your mom, a woman, understanding or trying to understand what your going through.

She was the best woman I have ever known and met. She was funny, strong, strict, a Godly woman, caring, loving, and I knew she loved me more than life itself. On my moms grave she put on it.... Jesus is my Lord and Savior and under that, it says...Rachel's Mom. One day, Ill go out there and take a picture of it. She was proud of me and I know she would be of me now. I still try and live my life everyday, making her proud of me. I don't want to mess up and make mistakes, I'm going to live with for the rest of my life. She always wanted me to have a healthy and happy life. She tried anything and everything for me to have that. And I know that's what moms do for their children. You always want to give them more and better than what you had.

I love her and miss her dearly. I'm glad I got to know her and be with her as much as I did. I wish she was still here so we could talk about stuff we couldn't talk about when I was younger and a teenager. But one day we will meet again. There is not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that she is up in heaven taking care and playing with my babies. It makes it that special, since I didn't get to see and meet them.

I love you mom.....until one day, we will see each other again!!!

Shirley Gayle Fincher
March 12, 1959 - November 25, 2001

Thanksgiving

My new gravy bowl hubby bought me






















































My grandpa :) he was cold!!





My cat Bitty!