I noticed lately with me, for the past few months how I have been feeling lonely and feeling far away from God. I know with me focusing on losing weight, I lost focus on God and therefore my happiness changed. I know I'm the most happy when I am seeking the Lord and wanting His plan for my life. I'm not saying I don't feel lonely but I know it wont be forever.
So when I was losing my focus on God, I started seeking it elsewhere. I ended up doing some things I regretted and fell into this depression. I knew what my problem was since I had done this before. I stepped away from a few people and even cut out alot of people. When I say I cut out, I simply just didn't reach out to people anymore. I knew I needed to self meditate without distractions, but if someone reached out to me to want to do something, I wouldn't oppose.
I also had this person which messed with my emotions, but I don't think they did it on purpose. I think now things are where they need to be and I hope that somehow I can move on and forward, now that I feel like things have changed. I am hoping this is a new chapter for me in this life and I can focus on the path God has for me.
God never promised us an easy life or a life with no trials. I know my life isn't always going to be this way and I know God still has amazing plans for me. I kinda feel like He is setting things up for me, but I do feel impatient sometimes. I know my life isn't what I plan and things arnt going to go the way I hope they go all the time.
What I had envisioned in my life.....well......it hasn't even came close to what I wanted my life to be. I know I cant predict something or expect them to go to the way that I want them too, but I just have to think that there is a reason for everything!
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