"Strong Enough" by Matthew West Lyrics

Strong Enough

You must

You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough

Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough

Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

Im bleeding again

My emotions are on a roller coaster. I know this....I knew it would be good and then bad and then numb....I knew this. I broke down today...Last night, I was talking to a couple of guys who are going through the same thing. I want to sit here and tell you everything that happened, but I cant. I cant let it get to certain people, but while they were trying to make me feel better, I was crying inside. They were trying to help me and give me the words to tell me about this whore and how she is and yet, I was loving Mark more as they put him down. Shouldn't I of gotten mad??? Shouldn't I of agreed? Why was I falling more and more in love with him? I think its because they never knew the Mark that I knew. They didn't know the way he used to look at me and make me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I just want to be happy. I have plenty of guys interested and I have plenty of guys tell me I'm beautiful and "Amazing"....But why do I wish Mark could be the one to tell me that and mean it? Why isn't he getting my divorce yet? Why should I wait on him? I feel like he has power over me and by him making me feel that way, I'm lashing out. I'm doing things that I never thought I would do and say. I'm not proud of myself. I'm finding who I am, the wrong way. This person that I'm acting like, is NOT the person that I am.

Mothers Day is coming up. More depressing....not only was it depressing before sharing it with my husband with no babies, but now I have no husband or babies. I'm going to spend it alone. I'm sure he wont even think of me and our babies that day. I don't know who he is. How can he walk away from our babies? How can he crush our future and dreams that we once had together? I don't want to care anymore. My mind races sooooo much that I'm exhausted at the end of the day.

I'm sorry this has been a depressing blog post. But this is how I'm feeling at the moment. I feel so alone. I sit here in my room, wanting to crawl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep. I hate that one person can do this to me. I don't want to love him anymore. I don't want to have feelings for him. I want someone who loves me for me. I want someone who's family loves me. I want a Godly man that I will trust with all my might and soul. I want a man that makes me smile, just from looking at me with the love in his eyes. I want a man who can take care of me emotional, physically, financially and lovingly. I longed to feel those feelings. I want him to be a kisser, a good cuddler, someone who can wrap their arms around me and me feel so safe, love and secure. Someone who will love to have a growing family with me.

I know Mark and I wont be back together. I can feel it in my soul. I just wish this hope would go away....I don't want it anymore. I want the man that God wants me to be with. I want to go down his path and serve him, cause I know I will be truly happy.

I'm tired.....I'm tired of caring and hoping!!!! I want this storm to be over with!