Happy 4th Due Date to my twins boys!!

I got home tonight and realized something.  Today is December 2nd......my twin boys would of been 4 today, of course if they would of been born on their due date.  Four years ago was my due date for my twin boys, instead we miscarried earlier at 6 weeks and at 13 weeks.  My great uncle actually passed away that day too.  It was one emotional day for me. 

WOW!!!!  Just sitting here thinking about having a set of twin 4 year olds running around is something I can genuinely sit here, smile and dream what it would be like.  I cant really wrap my head around it.  I wish I could see a glimpse of what my life would of been like if things didn't happen the way it did, but then I don't think I would want to see it.  I think its okay to just picture what they would look like, how they would act or how messy and wonderful they would be. 

Two 4 year old boys and almost a 2 year old little girl......my house would be full of beautiful chaos.  Just picturing it all, makes me smirk.  Its okay though.....Gods plan isn't my plan and I respect that.  Even though I might not understand 100% and even though I am in this waiting patiently position in my life, I really cant complain, but give praise to God that I do have 3 beautiful precious babies in heaven waiting on their mommy to give lots of hugs and kisses too!!!!

I am honestly grateful and blessed that I have my babies.  When I think of heaven, I think of them and even if I never have children on this earth, I will cherish them!!! I do hope one day God blesses me with a family here on this earth.  It really is a desire deep within my heart.  Now that I'm getting my body back on track and healthy, I'm hoping when I do start trying again, it will happen fast.

I can no longer be on birth control in my life, due to health reasons, so hopefully God will let my body do what a woman's body is made to do and bear some children for me and my husband.  I love when my friends tell me they can see me having babies!  It makes me feel good inside!!  :)

I love my boys, Adam William, Mark Jr. and my little girl Baby Love.  Even though mommy couldn't carry you all the way to full term, mommy carries you in her heart each and every single day!!!

(This picture is a set of four year old twins)