Proud of my boys!!!

I honestly, genuinely love the Spurs.  I'm proud of them!! They have done a 2 sweep playoff game and are about to face a scary team, that have a bunch of young-ins.  I know some of these pics are old, but my favs :)  One thing I do miss about going to SA is seeing their stuff everywhere.  I kinda made a promise to myself, if they win, I'm heading to SA to stock up!!!  :) 

We filed for divorce

So yesterday, which already seems a week ago for some reason, went down to the court house and filed.  I don't really know what to say.  I know that this is what we need to do, but for some reason I think about our wedding day as we filed.  I remember going down there all excited and getting our marriage license.  I never saw then, this day 5 years later.  I thought we were stronger than this.  The past couple of days, I have been feeling torn.  A part of me, knows this is what needs to happen so I can move on and start the next chapter in my life and the other part I guess clings to the dreams I used to have.  That Mark was going to my one and only and we were going to grow old together and have babies together.  I don't think of that dream anymore, but  I guess the memory of it, still runs through my head.  You know, I think the hardest part of this, is God hates divorce.  I can see why God didn't design this for us, because it hurts our hearts.  I still feel like God has these amazing plans for me, but I know that I'm just going through the emotions.  It didn't help yesterday that Mark was nice to me.  We talked, we joked a little bit about his mustache and how it turns blond and red and I had always called it "mustardy".  We had to make copies and run from office to office.  At the end when we were booking our court date, I was curious and asked the lady how many couples in together to file, and she kinda giggled and said, not many.  I always thought if it was weird that we went and did it together.  I think I'm just weird in that I want to know and feel all the emotions and steps to every part of life.  I know I didn't do the filing, I know I didn't want this, but I felt it.  I felt and watched everything that we needed to do to not be husband and wife anymore.  I want this process to hurry up and be over with.  Not so that I can move on, even though a part of it is, but the waiting sucks.  I think that's why it already feels like a week to me.  I had to sit there and actually try and remember if it was yesterday that we went down there.

I actually don't like this 60 day wait.  I know we're not getting back together, so it feels like its being rubbed in my face.  I know it would be "easier" if I had someone in my life, because they would distract me from it and tell me they love me and we would be busy with everyday life.  But I'm pretty much feeling every emotion and everything that comes with this, by myself.  Mark has moving and getting things adjusted in San Antonio to worry about, I know he wont be thinking about it.  I hate how boys can just block out things, I wish I was like that.  I do want to go through the emotions, even though they stink, so I can hopefully feel it all and can help people in the future on this time in their lives.  I know God wants me to feel all of this and I know I need to do it with just me and Him.  I know God is here with me, holding me and hearing my hearts desires. 

I'm sure after a couple of days, I wont really think about it and just live my every day life until its time for our court date.  I need to start living in the "now" moments and stop wondering what my life is going to be like after we are officially divorced.  I feel like my life wont start living until then, but really, I need to embrace this time of my life and still live like it was my last day!!!

I'm proud of Mark and I and how mature we have handled things so far.  I'm glad we could go down there together and file.  I'm glad that we can still talk without being cruel or hateful to each other.  Who knows if we will remain friends or if we leave after our court date and never see or hear each other again.  I know I'm not going to stress and worry about it.  Hes already changed his life, moving, still with his girlfriend and I know she don't want me in his life.  Why would she?  Mark and I have no ties to each other, so theres no excuse on us needing to talk.  I know Mark will do anything to make her happy, cause that's what he did for me, and I'm not going to cause unnecessary drama in their lives.  I want Mark to go on and be happy and live his life to the fullest.  I know he will be much happier in San Antonio around his family and everyone he grew up with. 

Who knows where my life will take me.  I'm honestly a little excited and scared.  I know I have no need to be scared, because I know God will bless me as long as I am walking with Him.  I do wonder alot about my future husband and what he will be like and look like and how we will act around each other.  I hope we have the same sense of humor and can be kids around each other.  I know I'm an adult, but when I'm around a guy and we can play, laugh, and be goofy, that's when I enjoy life the most. 


I read my devotion before I went to the court house and I couldn't believe what it said.  I swear its crazy how God knows exactly what I need to hear, even though it something that was written in the past and its on the same, exact day we are filing.  I don't think its a coincidence.  I just think its one of many of Gods wonderful things he places in our lives to show us he loves us and cares for us.  Everything with Him falls in place! :)

Im venting

So last night I was thinking while I was trying to go to sleep and I even thought about getting up and writing this.  I had all these thoughts flooding my mind.  I'm not mad, I'm aggravated.  I don't understand what is going on in Marks head.  He left me over a year ago, he planned on leaving me because after he left, everything he had been doing made sense.  I remember he was looking at cheap trucks, when we were planning on getting an SUV and I even questioned him on why he was looking at something we didn't need.  I also remember him trying to get his computer fixed, well its because she didn't have one and the laptop was mine.  Those are just a couple of things that I have noticed.  But yet, you would think he would be looking into divorce papers or the steps of it on getting it done.  I remember when he was getting his crap, he told me, "I'm getting the divorce papers, Ill pay for them, all you have to do is sign them".  I honestly remember thinking...."yeah right!"  Sure enough he proved me right!!!!  Its been almost a year and a half, hes quit his job and already is moving and he did all of this before handing me divorce papers.  How can you be a grown man and not put responsibilities before your selfish priorities?  I get you want to move back home, which is fine with me, but get what your supposed to do done first.  He went and bought a gun, which he didn't need, went to Sea World, went to the pubs, went out out and ate all the time, went on trips to SA all the time, because his family was sick, but all this was way more important than divorcing his wife.  I guess he actually felt like a true man being married to someone, while sleeping with a whore!!!!!  WOW!!!!  Oh and in this whole time, I think he has gotten even more stupid hanging around her!!!  He has said things and done things, that makes everyone laugh and be like, really?????  Mark was a smart man, but I cant really say that anymore.  He has been making foolish decisions and saying really stupid things.

The other day, I was bugging him about divorce, I told him, I took the IRS money and all he had left was hand me $95.00 and $243.00 for the divorce.  He asked me if they took credit cards.....I said, I don't know, you have to call them.  I remember looking at the time and it was 4:50, I was like CRAP, hes not going to call, hes going to say their already closed.  I called them, asked and they said, we take cash, check, money orders, or credit card, but no visa and it has a 3% charge on it.  I texted him that, then he starts asking me the same thing I just told him.  So then he says, he don't have any money other than Visa....I asked him to ask his parents.  He wrote me and said he could get it elsewhere, he just had to wait till the next day, fine with me.  I mean, at this point, I don't care if he has to go get plasma or sell his body.  I know that might sound harsh, but why must my life be put on hold?  He made this choice....he has made every choice for himself over the past year or so.  He left me, he wants divorce, hes moving, all these choices and decisions, come with sacrifices, come with work, come with consequences.   But I just feel like I have been the one doing alot of work on this divorce lately, and I don't think its fair.  He wanted this.  He made that choice, and yet he doesn't man up and do it.  Then after I told him about the money situation with paying for the divorce, he then turns and asks me......"how do we file?"    SERIOUSLY?????????????  If you only knew my face at the moment when I read that text........I was floored!!!!!  How in the hell after over a year, do you not know??????????  But I bet, you know how much its going to cost to move, or you know how much its going to cost to rent a house or all the jobs that are hiring down there.  How do you not put divorce on the top list?  How is your whore not wanting a divorce?  I mean shoot, when I was living in sin, I didn't want my boyfriend being married.  I knew that she had full power.  I'm not stupid!!!!!  I think, he thinks I'm stupid.  Of course, when we were married, I played stupid alot, but now I'm not and I don't play that way.  I think the roles have reversed.  But from what I know....shes still married too.  So I guess they enjoy living in sin.....fine with me, I'm not the one standing before the Lord and answering to that.  I want to do the right thing....and that's being in a relationship as a single woman, with the man God has intended for me to be with.  I know God hasn't intended for them to be together, it makes me laugh if they really think that.  I know their relationship has alot of downs, probably more than ups, and it will continue that way.  I don't care.....its not problem.....I'm just saying. 

Like I said, this is me venting.....I know I probably sound negative and harsh and tomorrow or the next day, I might re-read this and regret it.....but this is how I have been feeling for a while now.  I don't hate anyone....I really don't......I wish them nothing but the best, but let me not be a part of it.  As long as he is my husband, I am a part in some way, shape or form.   I know I did everything I could to save my marriage, even in the moments where I honestly didn't want to save it.  God had put it in my heart to fight and I did, and I did everything I possibly could, and I know God and everyone around me saw it and knew.  But its time!!!!! God has released me from fighting and I really just feel like He is the one has been pushing me to fight to get this done with.  I know God is against divorce and I know where this part alot of Christians will disagree with, but I know my heart and I know that I am at peace and have been praying about it and this is where I feel led to push.  I know Mark isn't going to do it, unless I stay on him.....this was my marriage.   Even with the money situation, I honestly had no intentions on taking his half.  Never even crossed my mind, until one day, it dawned on me......I'm never going to see this, and if I do, its going to be a pain.  I prayed about it, for weeks and I didn't even deposit the money until a few days after I told him, because I was still praying about it.  He hasn't shown me that he is going by his word.  He didn't get the divorce without me saying anything.  He didn't give me money in bulk, as a payment to his settlement.  Yes, he helped me a couple of times and has given me $20.00 or so and even when my grandpa needed money for medicine he gave me some money. I'm thankful, don't me wrong.  He also helped me when I had my appendix out, and went out and got us food and went to the store for us.  I also deducted it from what he owed me.  His kind heart at the time, was to help us and I am thankful.  He has a kind heart, one of the things I fell in love with him for, but now I cant be nice, because its not working.

If he looks me and really thinks that I'm being a bitch or that I'm being mean or that I took his money and ran and blew it all, then he really has his lost  his mind.  If he really knew me and the person he was married too, he knows I'm not cold hearted like that.  I did this to save my butt.....he agreed on my settlement, which mind you, I got less than what I could of fought for, but it wasn't about that, it was about what I really needed.  I could of made their lives miserable  over this past year.  I could of caused unnecessary drama if I wanted too.  But I can honestly say, that I was pretty nice and treated them with respect for the circumstance.  I could of been this crazy bat out of hell, but I wasn't.  I'm proud of myself, lol.  I'm proud that I'm standing up for myself, that I'm taking these matters into my own hands, because they need to be done.  I want God to be proud of me, that I did wait until my divorce was final.  I'm trying to be a loyal wife to God.  I'm still married, Marks still married.  Mark is still a married man in Gods eyes, sleeping and moving with another woman, and for some reason, I'm sure everyone around him is justifying it.  Oh your not married anymore, its just a piece of paper, you don't love her anymore.  IVE HEARD THEM ALL TOO ON MY SIDE!!! Ive had the guys try to sweet talk me and try to convince me that I'm not and its okay to do this and that, but I just simply look at my ring and know I am.  I wear my ring to remind myself that I am married.......my promise to God to remain faithful.  I know I wasn't faithful in the past, but like I said before, I have asked God to forgive me and I don't want to do it again.  Just because you might mess up, once, twice or more, doesn't mean you don't change to make it right (now).  Even when I told God I was going to be a faithful wife, I had messed up, and God had put it on my heart to not do it again and once again asked for forgiveness and not put myself in that situation again.  I know I am human and make mistakes, but I also have to change my surroundings or my temptations and not do it again.  God knows my heart and knows I want to do whats right.  I know I say that alot, but its true.  I can feel God blessing me because he knows that I want to do his will.  He knows I fall short and I sin.....but he knows I want to do what makes him happy.

So I wait.....I wait 61 days as we go file tomorrow.  I feel alot better as I have vented.  Its a bitter-sweet feeling about my divorce.  Bitter because its sad that we had to come to this and as we said our vows that it seemed like it meant nothing to him.  Its sweet because I have let go and I need to move on fully without these chains on me.  I'm not sure how I'm going to feel when the day comes and we are officially divorced, but I'm not going to worry about it.  I'm living each day at a time!!! :)

God gives us 2nd chances

Today's sermon at church was about Jonah.  We are going through a series of his story and they have been calling it "Relentless Love."  To be honest, since my divorce class has been over with at church, I'm not sure if this church is where God wants me to be.  I remember at the beginning of the year, I felt led to go to another church a couple of services and then to this one.  I also remember feeling led to go to the divorce class again, but I never did feel led to join the church, even though I love it.  I still haven't really felt led to go to a particular place, but I kinda feel God getting me ready for another direction.  I know he uses people and places to help  me through my journey at a specific time and reason to help  me grow.  I trust him fully.  I know that wherever he has for me to go, there will be a reason, if its to share my testimony, to touch or help someone, to meet and have life long friends or to meet my future husband.....I mean, you just never know.  That's why God is so wonderful!!!  Its when you look back and see the path God led you down and why it all happened the way it did.  Its just letting go and having God take the reigns and putting your total faith and trust in him that he will stir you down a righteous path to serving him.  Doesn't mean that trials or temptation wont step in the path, but knowing who is bigger and loving to help you with those!

So I got side tracked, like usual!! :)

I would say, the past month, I have felt God tell me, "I'm giving you a second chance".  This is my time, to surrender all, trust God, and KNOW that he has this amazing plan, that I cant even fathom, and the only thing I need to do is, TRUST and WAIT and have FAITH and he will give me my hearts desires.  I really feel in my heart, and this is not me being mean or me just saying this, I really feel like I wasn't supposed to marry Mark.  In fact, I know, we wernt supposed to get married.  I don't regret anything, because I have learned so much that I don't ever want to forget.  I cant go back and change things, so theres no point in me dwelling on the past or all the what if's, but this is where the 2nd chance comes in.  God knew my heart when I got married.  He knew I wanted to do things the right way, just like Mark and I waited till our wedding night to make love for the first time.  God knew I wanted to be faithful and was willing to fight to save my marriage.  I know God still would want us to be married, because God hates divorce, but at the same time, God knows his heart and my heart.  I remember I felt in my heart to pray before I got married and ask God to see if Mark was the one, but I didn't, because I was scared to know the answer.  Now I know, and I tell myself this all the time, when you doubt.....DON'T!!!!  Because Gods not going to give you doubt, hes going to give you peace about the answer and when you doubt, I feel like its not from God.  Also, I remember walking down the aisle thinking about divorce.  I thought that was weird, but thought maybe it was from the enemy or just cold feet jitters.  I can look back now and see that God was putting on my heart or trying to tell me something.  I carry around those thoughts and feelings after all these years.  I loved Mark, I was in love with him and was happy for the most part with him, but we struggled, ALOT. 

My second chance to me is.....waiting on God.  I feel like I'm at a starting line ready to go and I'm just waiting on that horn to blast or that gun to shoot so I can GO!!!  The waiting part of hearing the blast or shoot, is so hard and the anticipation can be overwhelming at times. 

God is a God of second chances.  In fact today I learned at church that most of the bible stories are about God giving people second, third or more chances.  I feel like I have my whole life still ahead of me.  In my heart of hearts, I didn't want to have to start over, finding a man, getting used to him, learning his friends and family, accepting his past and hoping I could trust him.  But I feel God preparing me that yes, everyone has a past and its whats in their heart now that matters.  I also feel like God is giving me a second chance with having a family.  I hope if God blesses me, that my future husband and I can have healthy babies together.  I know my 3 babies are in heaven, but I feel like this is my second chance of having a family, all together as one....not a broken family. 

I want to use this time, with him giving me this 2nd chance and do it right and to do HIS will.  I know right now, as long as I'm married, that I need to wait and he will show me what I need to do.  I honestly cant wait to know what it feels like to not have chains holding me down.  All I know right now.....is to wait on Gods 2nd chance he is giving me.  :)

My estranged thoughts......VERY LONG!!!

This was a ......lets say......chaotic but memorable week.  I feel God working in my life and him holding my hand through it all.  This blog post might be a little out there with alot of info and might be confusing....but when is it not?  haha!!! 

So I'll start off with this guy that I met.  Nice, God fearing man.  I totally wasn't expecting him to walk into my life, but he did and I took it day by day.  He knows my situation and prayed about it.  I prayed about it too, but we knew we were going to keep it as friends, that's all we wanted anyways.  But God during the week, revealed to me, that I shouldn't be even putting myself in temptations way.  It sucks....trust me.....it sucks to know that I shouldn't get with anyone or kiss anyone or whatever it may be, because I am married.  Here, Mark goes and can do whatever he wants, which is fine, cause he has to answer to God for it, but I feel stuck and trapped being a loyal wife in Gods eyes.  I know I haven't been in the past, but I have asked for forgiveness with that.  I want God to bless me and I know he will with me doing the right thing.  I want to do the right thing, I want to please God, I just feel like I'm not married anymore.  I'm not in love with Mark, I don't see him, I don't feel like I have a husband, and yet I need to act like a wife.  Its so hard!!!!!   But I know going through this, being loyal, God will teach me, show me, or I can be a witness to someone else and I will take that over my selfish desires.  This guy is a great guy.....someone that I would be interested in if my circumstance wasn't this way.  I know God isn't going to tell or okay anything with me and him because I am married.  If we are talking 60 or so days from now, I guess we can see after I'm divorced.  But in the meantime, I want him to go live his life and have fun.  I wouldn't want anyone to wait on me or put their life on hold because I have too.  He might read this and think I'm nutty, lol, that I'm thinking things he never thought of.  But everyone who knows me, knows I jump to conclusions.  I just have felt like God was showing me....yes, there are good Godly men out there.....yes, your not ready as long as your married.....yes, you need to remain faithful and act like a wife.....yes, there are men that can control themselves, lol......
The thing with this guy was, I never had someone look at me, like I'm married and they drew the lines before it even got there AND stuck with them.  He told me, he prayed about it and he listened to God to do the right thing.  I knew if I was around him, I knew it was safe.  It was fun, exciting, innocent, no worries about me having to draw a line for him, because he already drew the line.  I never felt that before.  Sometimes, I didn't even know what to do, because he was being a good boy....lol.  I know it might sound crazy, but I enjoyed him.  We never talked about being together or in a relationship, because there really is no need as long as I'm tied down.....but I guess you never say never.....who knows.....
Maybe God put him in my life, to be a really good friend.....or maybe I have a friend who's supposed to marry him, lol, you just never know, but I'm not going to worry about it.  Like he always told me....take it day by day!!!!  I need to learn to do that more......I always jump way past and beyond and everything that I thought about and the shoulda, coulda, wouldas, never even happen in my life.  I stress for no reason.

So then the next part is my divorce.  Mark texted me about if I have gotten the IRS income tax return.  I had gotten it, like 2 weeks before, lol, but I was just praying and asking God if me taking the money was what I should do.  I had his money in cash, never put it in the bank, in case God told me otherwise.  I never felt any different.  I just felt in my heart, that I was never going to get my money or I was just always going to have to bug him about my money if I didn't take it.  I didn't want to be the bad guy.  I didn't want to be mean and have him think, I'm just being a B word and selfish and taking the money.  I asked him if I could meet him somewhere so I could talk to him, of course he says hes busy all week.  I just grew some balls and just told him, I took the money.  I had this whole speech planned out, about how I'm not the bad guy, how I have been waiting for over a year for a divorce, a year for my settlement and how he always put me on the back burner. If he cant see that I didn't put his life through hell the past year or cause havoc then he really has lost his mind.  I mean, he planned on quitting his job, which he did.....planned on moving, which he is.....his friends told me he got a house.  So he, put all of these "priorities" first, AGAIN!!!!  Why wouldn't divorcing your wife, whom you no longer love or want to be with first?  Why wouldn't your girlfriend not want you to be divorced?  Then I hear from a mutual friend of ours that she is about 4 months pregnant.  You know the sad part is, when I heard that.....is I got pissed.  I got mad at the fact that, IF ITS TRUE, hes bringing a child into this world, married to another woman.  I never shed a tear over it.  I just got heated.  I refused to be put in that situation.  But like I have said before, God has just really put on my heart....its over with, I no longer need to fight, I no longer want to fight, and I know he has someone so much better for me.  Ive realized, Mark isn't a "bad guy", hes just wasn't made me for me.  I need and want, someone who's going to stand up to me, who's going to tell me NO, who's going to lead me, who's going to love me, like Christ loves his church.  I just want this all said, done and over with.

I even remember a few months ago, when I was starting to feel God touch me, to not fight anymore, I felt kinda scared, that when I did get my divorce papers and the day we go to court and they say, your no longer married, I got scared that maybe I was going to be sad or depressed, and then one of my friends said, "OR you could be relieved."  I really feel now, shes right.  I'm going to feel this weight, just lifted off of my shoulders.  I feel like I have said my goodbyes to my marriage.  I know I will always carry this around with me.  The pain I felt, the hurt, the betrayal, and I pray all the time, that the next man that God puts in my life, I pray that I wont ever hold what Mark did to me, on him.  I hope God just puts this peace and white slate in front of me on him.  I never been hurt so bad in my life, but it has made me grow so much. 

Mark dropped off the papers on Wednesday.  It looked like a lot and there were alot of papers, but it was pretty easy.  I called him the next day and asked him if I could go down with him to file and he then tells me, hes out of town.  I about freaked.  I was like, OH MY GOODNESS!!!! We wait again!!!  But he says Monday we can file.  I'm not holding my breath!!!!  I hate the fact that I have to push and stay on him to file.....hes a grown man......I have to pause......I'm sitting here typing....and I'm having all these flash backs of my  marriage and relationship with Mark.  I get mad just the thought of the aggravation of him.  I remember I had to take away his PlayStation, so he would mow the grass.  Yes, I had to ground my adult husband to do his responsibilities.  I hope and pray that the next man I have, just does whats hes supposed to before he plays.  I know I wasn't the perfect wife, and I had issues and problems too, but we just arnt compatible.  We had totally different sense of humors and he didn't talk and I talked too much..........anyways........I'm staying on his butt to file.  I just REALLY don't get why and how he hasn't put the divorce first.  Why would he want to have to share things with me?  Why wouldn't anyone around him, tell him or push him to get divorced?  I mean, how far in sin can you get that dragging your wife through your adulteress lifestyle is okay????  See.....I'm venting and my thoughts are pouring out.  So if I lose you, I'm sorry. 


So mothers day is coming up.  My job asked me if I would work 4 hours and I agreed.  I don't work on Sundays and technically I'm supposed too once a month, so I cant really say no.  When I said yes though, I didn't realize it was mothers day.  But it'll be okay.  I know I'm a mother to 3 beautiful babies in heaven and I hope all the mothers that have babies on this earth enjoy spending time with their blessings.  I hope I can go to church and enjoy it.  I know alot of people look at me and don't know I'm a mother, but I know the people close to me do!!!  :)  I hope one day I will know what its like to have babies on this earth and what it feels like to be called mom.  :)

Another thing is, God has just blessed me so much with wonderful women in my life.  The crazy thing is, is somehow, someway, I knew people who knew them and then these ladies are all together.  So on top of knowing these people, I know their families or their friends and their just like me.  Their funny, Godly, happy, sad, blessed, struggling, you name it, their human!!!! and we share our feelings and laugh together.  These women have known all each other for years, and I just walk in, and its like Ive been there for ever.  We all clicked.  I don't know....I love it.  In fact, these women have seen me, like on my "rough days".  lol  I feel blessed to have them in my life.

So I have been thinking about the man God has designed for me.  I wonder what he looks like, how tall he is, how strong his walk is with the Lord, what his background is like.  I wonder what its going to feel like when God puts us together with His love.  I want to be with someone with no doubts....I want it the right way.  I wonder what our kisses and hugs and our emotions are going to feel like. I never been with someone who was approved from God with no doubt.   I want the whole true love story.  I know life isn't perfect, but I want to be with the person God has designed for me.  But I wait.....I wait to know what that feels like.  I don't want to search for anyone, but I want God to just place us in each others lives.  I know your probably thinking, why are you even worried or thinking about this right now?   But I'm human....I get lonely....I long for a mans touch or to feel him wrap his arms around me and tells me he loves me.  I know I was made to be a wife and a mother.  I loved being a wife and I'm eager to know what it feels like to be a mother.  I wait.....its okay for me to wait.  In the meantime I'm growing stronger and closer to God.  I pray that the man that God has for me, that he Loves God more than me and is willing to do his will.  Sometimes I get discouraged, when I see all these men who don't walk with the Lord and I wonder if there are really any true Godly men out there......then God placed one in my life and showed me, there are!!!  Makes me even more excited to see Godly men through single eyes.

I'm happy though!!! I'm happy with who I am, who Ive become, where I came from, and my walk with the Lord has gotten so much stronger.  I pray all the time that I wont stray from him again.  I don't want any human or thing to come between me and God.  It can be a struggle at times with your walk especially with just everyday life and struggles.  But I'm reaching up to God and praying daily for his guidance.  Its all I can do.  I want his path in my life and I want his will to be done.  I know he has great plans for me, and he blesses me everyday!!!! 


I know this was long, but just a bunch of thoughts running through my mind that I'm glad I spilt them on my blog!!! :)  Hope you enjoyed!!! hehe!!!

My new improved bathroom

I started redoing my bathroom December of 2010.  Yes....2010!!!!  I remember it was bothering me, it was just a hot mess and I was ready to have another project on my hands.  I remember I was off for 2 weeks from the school and I wanted it to be my Christmas gift.  I remember Mark telling me I shouldn't do it.  I know now why.  A few months later, he left me, and then I had abandoned it.  It was just a horrible mess since then and now that I'm happy and wanting new beginnings, I picked up on it one day after I mowed.  I knew if I started I would finish this time.  So I started and didn't stop.  It took me about another couple of weeks, trying to get all the extra stuff I needed that I hadn't purchased before.  I got most of my decorations and paint and what not before, that was just sitting there needing to be put up.  But I hadn't gotten curtains or new blinds and some decorations that I wanted to add.  I'm proud of the result.  I like to stop by and look at it every once in awhile when I go up the hallway.  I don't use this bathroom, this is my grandpas and visitors bathroom.  I had to go back and find my before pictures, and I wasn't even sure if I had uploaded them, but they were here.  When I looked at them, I couldn't even believe how horrible it looked before, lol.  It was so long ago, but I love the end result!!!!  I painted the top with a wine color, and then painted the trim white.  I also put a textured wallpaper of the back splash to warm it up!!  Got new knobs for the cabinets and some new furniture.  The before decorations was my mommas taste....I have no idea what she was thinking, lol.