Lab results

I went to get my labs done today and they called me back and told me my hcg levels are 521. I thought that was low for 5 weeks and she said it is low for 5 weeks, but that it was 5 weeks from AF and not conception. So I told her when I ovulated and she said ohh....then its perfectly normal. I was freaking out....I want this baby so bad with no complications at all. I then went on and asked her if they checked my progesterone levels, because my Dr. told me after I miscarried that if I was to become pregnant, to take a baby asprin and I might have to take extra progesterone, since they dont know the cause of the miscarriages. She told me they didnt, but she was going to talk to my Dr. and ask what he wants me to do. So they are giving me vaginal progesterone supplements. I never heard of these, but I just want whats best for my baby.

Something that I do...that I shouldnt.....is I read all these things. I read that baby asprin can cause birth defects....so then I was like what??? But I read all these success stories about women who miscarried after miscarried and went on to have a healthy baby from taking a baby asprin. Im leaving this all in Gods hands, and Im praying that everything that Im doing is good and healthy for my baby.

Oh and Thursday, Im going to do more lab, to make sure the numbers are progressing good!!!

Pray for me :)

5 weeks

How your baby's growing:

Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

It is a....

POSITIVE!!! Trust me, I was shocked and overwhelmed and I didn't want to get my hopes up. This is what happened.

I started AF on May 25th. We called the Dr and asked him if we could up the dose to 100mg and he said yes since the 50mg wasn't working. We BD like we were supposed to for the first time because of our work schedules wasn't letting us and I'm off for the summer. If this didn't work, we really didn't know what we were going to do. I O'ed and it was a strange one, because I didn't have the normal pains like I normally do. I had some minor pains on a day after I was supposed to, so we BD an extra day in a row. I had been doing Zumba, because I wanted to concentrate on myself some more this summer and to lose 50 pounds. I wanted to lose weight for me, but I also heard that losing weight can up your chances on getting pregnant. I also was thinking....I keep asking God for a baby, but maybe hes waiting on me to do something about my health. So I did Zumba almost everyday until I O'ed, then for some reason I was extremely tired and had no desire to do anything. I kept saying Ill do it the next week, but it never happened. Looking back now, I think God had me rest and relax those days so my body could do what it needed to do.

I tested on 11DPO and it was a negative. So we started to make plans for the next month. I wasn't going to take clomid, because I read that clomid after awhile can make your uterus lining to thin. So I was going to let my body get back to normal to see what happens. My AF was due on Monday and I just thought that it didn't come cause I was stressing about it coming and our trip and leaving my g-pa for so long. I just knew I was going to be on AF this whole vacation and thought I was going to be miserable. So I woke up Tuesday and I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I knew that I was going to see AF. I didn't....I was like GREAT!!! I went back to bed and I woke up again, going through the same thing. I decided to test, because I remember some women off of cafemom tell me that 11 dpo can be to early, but I'm always used to seeing the BFN. I tested Tuesday and I didn't see a line, so I threw up on the shelf and went to the living room where Mark was. I was telling him how mad I was, cause AF hasn't came and I got a BFN....and then I told him about my dream I had that night. I dreamed that I had a baby girl, and I was in the hospital and I was just loving on her and kissing her and I loved her so much and she was beautiful. I thought it was unfair that I had this dream, I didn't have AF and I got a BFN.

So Mark went to our room and I grabbed the test and looked at it, cause I was going to show him, and there was a faint line. I went and asked him if he sees another line and he said yes. So I'm like....that has to be an evap line. I went and took an OPK test and in 2 minutes, there was a faint line too. I didn't want to get my hopes up, I was so confused and I didn't understand. It felt like AF was really on her way and she was going to show up anytime. I had this pressure and cramps and it really felt like AF. I had been really emotional the past 2 weeks and I was just bawling at this moment. I really didn't understand. I took a test that Saturday and was praying for a BFP, cause I thought that would be an amazing Fathers Day gift, and I didn't get it. I told him on Fathers Day, I'm not pregnant, and he was bummed. To find out 2 days later we were expecting. I had all these plans of how I wanted to show and tell him, and I didn't get that. But I'm not complaining. He was here with me and got to experience it all with me. I love this baby so much already.

God has taken this desire away to want a baby. I now have the desire for THIS baby. I go tomorrow to the Dr to get my lab work done. I don't know why God chosen this time, but I'm not complaining. We have been praying for his time, but I have been begging lately for his time to be near. We arnt telling everyone and since alot of people don't read this, I'm hoping it wont get out to much. In case anything was to happen, its hard to tell people that, when they are so excited for you. Trust me...I want to shout it out and tell everyone. Me and Mark are claiming this baby in Jesus name, and we pray all the time for this baby to be healthy and we already told God we are raising this baby to glorify Him. My due date is March 1st, 2011. I am hoping that we will have a Valentines baby, but whenever and whatever will be fine with us. Please say a prayer for us to have peace and health during these months to come. We are so excited and ready to be parents. We know God has chosen this time in our lives to bless us with a baby and we are so grateful. We have waited 2 long years, and right now I couldn't be happier.

I just tested and took this....its darker!!!

On this day, God wants me to know....

On this day, God wants you to know...

... that if you relax, it comes. Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, God shows you the way.


I needed this today and hopefully soon, I can share whats been going on in my life with you.

My inlaws

Ive been visiting with the inlaws since Wednesday and been having a good time. I love this family so much and they mean the world to me. I dont have a big family, and since my mom passed, I kinda lost touch and closeness with my other family. I talk and see them occasionally, but its the same as it was before. But my husband has a big family, and basically 2 families. His mom and dad are divorced so we have 2 parties when we come in town so everyone can see us. They have so much love and concern that they give towards me and make me feel welcomed. I am truly blessed to have married a good man with a good family. Thank you Jesus!!!

TWO YEARS PEOPLE

I am...............pissed, sad, emotional, tired of trying.......i have been on 4 rounds of clomid.....first three were with 50mg and they upped it this past month to 100mg. I have not been diagnosed with any problems......tubes are clear...though they did say i have more of a heart shaped uterus....periods are fine.....i ovulate normally.....hubbys sperm is normal....they said its on the lower side, but its still in the normal range.

We have been trying for 2 years. We got pregnant the first time with not trying, had sex one time that month and got pregnant with twins. We ended up miscarrying those twins, one at 6 weeks the other at 13 weeks. I never knew in my wildest dreams i would be here.....24, going on 25 still trying for a baby.

You dont understand, I made fun of my mom for being so old to have me, lol.....she was 26....I guess i shouldnt of ever done that. I do want to have more kids, if its Gods will, but I really dont want to have any past 30. My husband and I have been married 3 years and together for 9, and we are so ready to have a family. We are ready and both of our hearts desire a baby. We are emotionally ready for a little one. Finacially? who really is right? lol....but we do have lots of family, and we already have a nursery with clothes, rocking chair, changing table, and bunch of stuffed animals :) I know there is so much more i need, but its a good start.....

I took a test today.....11dpo.....ovulated, me and hubby did the sperm meets the egg plan, which thats what the dr told us to do anyways, and what do i get??? a freakin BFN!!! i dont know what to do....i really dont.....i dont want an IUI, i want to conceive our baby through making love, but if its what i need to do in the end, i will!!!

Im torn tho, because if I need to do any IUI, i would like to do it this summer, but then im BROKE....Insurance wont pay for it, so i know i will have to fork it out. If i wait till school starts, most likely i will have to take a day off....but what if you O on the weekend when their not open?? i guess thats something i need to ask them.

I just dont understand why my heart feels like its going to bust for a baby, when im not getting pregnant? I really dont understand. I just wish God could or would give me some answers, cause i think im going crazy. TWO YEARS PEOPLE!!! two long freakin years!!

blessed

On this day of your life, Rachel, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are blessed.

You may think you have challenges, but you have so many blessings. Sometimes it takes only a moment of conscious effort to recognize those blessings. Once you focus on the gifts instead of the problems, your whole perspective will change and you will see blessings everywhere.

Been awhile/update on my g-pa

Its been awhile since I posted from my calendar. It was there sitting on my dresser since April, and there was so many times I have been willing to do it, but just never have. I don't know if anyone reads any of them or not, but I feel like I should put it out there. Its a NIV version I think, and I normally read out of the KJV, so some of them sounds funny to me.

Update on my grandpa:

My grandpa has a test done to look at his heart better to see if he had any infections on his heart valves. Everything came out fine and he doesn't have anything wrong with his heart. On the other hand, its like we are back at square one. Hes been in the hospital since last Thursday and they thought he had Cellulitis and then he had another flare up and then thought it was this heart thing, and then other one would be gout. My grandpa does have a gout problem, and he has cut back tremendously on his foods so it wont bother him. They are a little hesitant to say this is gout, because if it is its bad, and they said they never seen it like this. My grandpas right elbow, arm and hand is puffy and painful, and his right knee is too. He cant use his leg or arm. But its like all the other parts of his body is touchy too. They brought in a disease doctor to see if they can figure this all out.
Please say a prayer for him, that God will touch and heal him, and that God can show the Dr. what the problem is, so they can help heal it!! Hopefully its nothing bad or surgery bad. Hes 80 and I know he has lived a good life, but I need him here with me. Hes the only parent I have left, and it means ALOT to me, to have him here to see my baby. I'm going to need help with them, and my grandpa ADORES babies and they adore him. He is such a Godly man and a prayer warrior. I can literally feel God answer prayers when he prayers. I tell everyone he has 40 more years with us. =)

June 10

Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? -Job 11:7

June 9

...To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is the paradise of God. -Revelation 2:7

June 8

...My heart rejoices in the Lord,; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. -1 Samuel 2:1

June 7

Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good. -Titus 3:1

June 5/6

I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. -Philemon 6

June 4

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God... -John 1:12

June 3

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. -Isaiah 55:9

June 2

"This, then, is how you should pray: ' Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." -Matthew 6:9, 10

June 1

As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man. -Proverbs 27:19

May 31

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. -Galations 5:13

Memorial Day

May 29/30

A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. -Proverbs 11:25

May 28

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. -Ephesians 2:10

May 27

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. -Deuteronomy 31:8

Full Moon

May 26

...I am the first and I am the last; apart from me there is no God. -Isaiah 44:6

May 25

For the Lord is righteous he love justice; upright men will see his face. -Psalm 11:7

May 24

"...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant..." -Matthew 20:26

May 22/23

"But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." -John 14:26

May 21

Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. -Romans 14:13

May 20

The Lord is good to alll; he has compassion on all he has made. -Psalm 145:9

May 19

Let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them! -1 Corinthians 16:32

May 18

Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad, let them say among the nations, " The Lord reigns!" -1 Corinthians 16:31

May 17

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. -Psalm 145:1

May 15/16

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. -2 Timothy 2:3

15-Armed Forces Day

May 14

"...if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." -Matthew 17:20

May 13

Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. -Psalm 96:1, 2

New Moon

May 12

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. -Galations 5:25, 26

May 11

...I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. -Psalm 84:10

May 10

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. -Proverbs 31:28

May 8/9

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you... -Isaiah 66:13

9-Mothers Day

May 7

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Luke 12:34

May 6

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor. -1 Samuel 2:8

May 5

"Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved..." -Mark 16:16

Cinco de Mayo

May 4

Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace... -Hebrews 13:9

May 3

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus... - Ephesians 2:6

May 1/2

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come! -2 Corinthians 5:17

April 30

Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you... -Atmos 5:14

April 29

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. -Galations 5:22, 23

April 28

If I speak in tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong of a clanging cymbal. -1 Corinthians 13:1

April 27

The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. -Romans 8:19

April 26

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord... -Psalm 33:12

April 24/25

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." -John 13:35

April 23

The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are listen to safety. -Job 5:11

April 22

The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. -Psalm 33:5


Earth Day

I love you