Tired Week

This week was crazy. Its always hard for me to get back on track with sleeping and waking up early. I was tired and moody all week long. I dont know if I ever posted on my blog, but I did take my first round of clomid. When I took them, I didnt have any side effects really, other than I was moody, but now since I finished my round, I noticed the side effects, like hot flashes and mood swings. My GYN told me that these pills might make me want to divorce Mark, lol, but that its just the side effects of the pills. I always have had lower pain this month more than normal, like low abdomen pain. I just thought its because of those pills, but I dont know. Im going to see if Im pregnant or if I start my period and see how my body feels then to see if it is those pills.

I have been at peace though with getting pregnant. I really want a baby, everyone knows that, my heart feels it and God knows. I cant rush God!!! I know he has put this desire is from him and I know his timing is perfect. I know I say that alot, but its true!! Its totally how I feel and he is awesome and everything seems to be falling into place.

March 27/28

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree... they will flourish in the courts of our God. -Psalm 92:12,13


Palm Sunday

March 26

Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth. -Genesis 9:16

March 25

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless... -Psalm 18:30

March 24

This is the message we have heard from him and delcare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. -1 John 1:5

March 23

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. -Psalm 27:14



Something I need to really do!!!

March 22

The way of the Lord is refuge for the righteous... -Proverbs 10:29

March 20/21

See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come... -Song of Songs 2:11,12


First day of Spring

March 19

There is one body and one Spirit-- just as you were called to one hope when you were called-- one Lord, one faith, on baptism; one God and Father of all... -Ephesians 4:4-6

March 18

The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. -Psalm 19:8

9 years

So on Monday the 15th, Mark and I celebrated our 9 years of being together. I just want to say that I feel so blessed to be with a man this long and yet, he only has eyes for me and I have eyes for him. I think there is something special in being with only one person, and being with your first love. I know its not very common and I'm glad that I don't ever have to worry about any ex's or the fact that he shared himself with someone else. We have only shared ourselves with each other and that really means alot to us. We only know each other and the way our bodies are, where each scar is, each mole, each birth mark. When we finally do have kids, I really want them to know, how special and close our relationship is, that they can grow and have something like we can one day.

I have to admit, when we were getting close to our wedding day, all I could think about was divorce. I was so scared of getting a divorce and I wasn't even married yet. I think I was thinking about failure before I even started. Now, we pray for guidance and for God to make our relationship strong in the Lord. Mark and I have gone through some stressful situations that really has tested our relationship over the years.....

The first one, was when my mom died. Here we are 16 years old, and we haven't met each other at this point because we lived in different cities and couldn't get up and travel. But when my mom died, Mark wrote a note to his parents telling them that he needed to be here with me and why he needed to be here. Though he couldn't come to my moms funeral, he came a few days later and we met. It was awkward, but its our ever after. I'm glad he didn't come on my moms funeral day, because I think that would of been weird, but he made me feel better when he did get here. We met each other every 3 months after that till we graduated. We would take turns traveling and that's what kept our relationship alive. I remember for my 17th birthday, Mark flew to Dallas and me and my grandpa met up there for the weekend and we went and did lots of things.

Then after high school, he graduated and a week later, he moved up here to be with me and to go to college. I don't think him, or even his parents thought that it was going to last and he was going to be here for so long, but he has. It will be 7 years this June, that he has lived here.

When I was 19, I found out I had cancer. I remember I was in the hospital room, from running tests and they just told me that they are going to treat this as cancer and I was getting dressed and Mark calls. I told him, that I had cancer......he didn't say anything. I cant imagine for someone so young, and you love someone and they just told you this when he knew my mom died just 2 1/2 years before. I know alot of people look at me, and is like oh, poor Rachel, but I had to bring to some peoples minds, when he married me, there is a chance that he wont grow old with this person. I don't think mentally Mark thinks that way, or at least he don't tell me, but I know it had to of crossed his mind. But that alone, will tell you, how much he loves me and is devoted to me. Some people would get scared and run off. But Mark stood by my side the whole way with my cancer. He stayed every single night in the hospital and all day long for a week. He did leave a few hours each day to shower and to change clothes, but he always came back. What an amazing man.

Then we miscarried our twins in 2008. He was there holding my hand when they went in the first time to see if I miscarried everything. Then there he was......our little baby on the screen. I started to cry and I looked over at Mark, and he was crying. To think you lost something so dear to your heart and then to find out that hes still in there, was so grateful. Then the night we did miscarry Mark Jr., Mark was there the whole time for me. There was blood everywhere and I was in pain, and I was going to pass out and then I got really cold, he was there, to get me a towel and a fan, and then something to make me warm. All the grossness didn't bother him. Any other time, I know it would of, but I guess when you love someone so much, it doesn't matter. Being there for the one you love is more important than what normally would bother you.

The past 2 years, we have been trying for a baby. I feel so blessed how it hasn't taken a toll on our marriage. I think it has made us stronger and has touched our hearts for what we truly want and what our hearts desire. We really want a family and we are going to try until our dream comes true.

I love you Mark Richard Pena!!!! You are my soulmate and you are the best husband a girl can ask for. I want to spend many more years together with you.

Spring Break

Its been a crazy, fun, different, week. Mark was off since Tuesday, and so Wednesday night we went out to a club with a bunch of Marks workers and they are c-r-a-z-y. I mean, most of them are 30 and up and all single, or just divorced and are nuts. Mark and I were the only married couple, and all these people were just hooking up with each other, drunk, and it was crazy. I have never seen anything in my life, other than TV, so that must show how much I have been out. lol. Wouldn't it be weird when they went back to work and they had to see each other??? After the club we went to one of the guys house and 4 of them "hooked up". Two in the bathroom and two in a bedroom. WHAT???? These are grown people and they act like this? I mean, do they wonder why they are single or divorced? It was crazy!!! AND, it seems like all these people smoked and I know that drank. I did too....I had 9 Malibu Sunrises, 4 Margaritas and a shot of Edger Bomb (sp). I have never drank like that before, but I swear, these drinks were watered down, nothing like I had in Dallas.

So then Wednesday night, we decided to invite some friends over and play Domino's. We had pizza and nachos and drinks. None of Marks friends could come over, because they had prior events going on, but my friend Rebecca came over and I had so much fun. We taught Mark how to play Chicken foot, and I was surprised how fast he caught on. He ended up winning the game!!! We need to have more nights like that. I think it would be lots of fun too, when there is more people, because I go over to Rebecca's house and there is 6 of us and its fun to have that many people playing!!! Maybe one day soon we can!!

Then Friday night, Marks friend from work and us, we all went on a double date. We went to Red Lobster and we talked and had fun and then me and his wife really didn't want to go to a bar, or club, or even a pool hall, so we went to Buffalo Wild Wings and had drinks and wings. She was super nice and reminded me of one of my other friends and her facial expressions. They were a hoot. Shes a nurse and they have 2 kids and of course David, the husband works at the prison with Mark. They seem more our type of people to hang out with, and she likes the Twilight Saga, so that was something we could talk about and enjoy together :) Me and Mark went afterwards to Wal-Mart and I got the New Moon movie. I got there just in time, because they told me the electronics had a line all the way backed up to the grocery section. There wasn't a line, but I couldn't find any movies, so I had to ask for it. He was funny, and kept asking me questions about the book, lol. Everything he was asking me, was in the 4th book and you should of seen the look on his face, lol. I think he was getting ready for the 3rd movie and he wanted to see some of the things he was asking me. LOL, I was like NOPE, that's in the 4th book. So I came home and started to watch it, but I fell asleep.

Woke up to beautiful snow!!! First day of spring, and it snowed today. Yesterday was like 70 something degrees and I was dieing!!! I did NOT want the heat to come already. This winter has been something else, and I'm not complaining. Everyone around me, hates it and wants the heat to come, BUT I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

---PEOPLE AROUND ME "BETTER NOT" BITCH HOW HOT IT IS GETTING THIS SUMMER AND HOW HOT THEY ARE, AND THEY DON'T HAVE AN AIR CONDITION OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BECAUSE I BET THESE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES BITCHING ABOUT THE COLD WEATHER AND THE SNOW"----

Now I will be the one bitching about the hot weather, because I hate it with a passion. I don't like the heat, I don't like to sweat, it just makes me feel dirty. I have to shower like every minute in the summer. You cant go outside without getting sun burned, and its just HORRIBLE!!!

So as Sunday morning is coming and its the last day of Spring Break....I had a good spring break. It has been interesting and I have met some new people. I hope to get closer to these people and grow into good relationships as friends. Goodnight my friends!!!

Been absent

I have been gone for awhile and busy. I went on a trip to Dallas with some girls from my work for a Senior Trip from last Friday to yesterday. We had a blast. I'm going to tell you everything we did each day, just so I can remember, lol.

Friday: We left around 4pm and headed to Dallas....stopped half way to pee and then headed to our Suite. We got there and then were hungry so we went to Arlington to go eat at Trail Dust....its a restaurant where they have good steaks and you can dance and they have a live band. They also have this huge slide you can go down, which I did, lol. Then by the time we got back to Dallas, me and 2 other girls, headed to the bar. I had ONE drink and was gone!!! There was this black man down there, and one of the girls said she thought, he was an undercover cop or a drug dealer. Well he bought us all a round of drinks and then we went outside and he was talking to us. I was gone at that point, so I couldn't see and just sat there and listened. There was alot of more crazy, funny things that happened, but I wont get into those. Went upstairs and then went to bed.

(Woke up at 4am to LOUD snoring. 2 of the women in there have sleep apnea and it was just horrible. I didn't know what I was going to do the next few nights with this. I am used to a loud fan that blocks out the little noises and in this room, I couldn't do anything to stop it or block it, but after an hour, I finally fell back to sleep)

Saturday: So I finally went back to sleep, to being woke up to them being loud like at 7 am. Of course their room service of breakfast came in. I don't eat breakfast, so I had to lay there, while they were loud and ate. Then I finally got up and got dressed and we headed out to shop. In Dallas there is a street called Harry Hines and it has alot of good deals of a bunch of good stuff. I got Mark and my grandpa some Versace and Adidas's cologne...and no it wasn't an off brand or knock off. I got me a purse and the most beautiful picture frame that I have been wanting forever. I will have to take a picture of it and post it soon. Got me some lotion and soap that has P on it, got a traveling jewelry case, then when at ate at Macaroni Grill. We then left and went back to our hotel and rested to then go eat at the Reunion Tower. Its nice and the chef is Wolfgang Puck, which he fed the celebrities at the Oscars. He wasn't there when we went, but the food was really delicious. Got back and went to the bar again at the Hotel. I did not have what we had before, but a better drink, called Miami Sunrise. We then went to bed and woke up to go to church the next morning.

Sunday: We got up and headed to First Baptist Downtown Dallas. We were in the elevator when we were talking to this guy and realized that the preacher who was at our First Baptist, was the preacher of this First Baptist. I mean, everyone in my town knows that he left and went to Dallas, but we didn't realize this was the church, so it was good and weird like old times to see him again. We went back to our room to change clothes and headed to the Galleria mall. Its one of the biggest malls in Dallas, if not the biggest. We shopped, and I got me some new Flip flops from Old Navy and we went to Godiva Chocolate and I spent 9 freakin bucks on 4 chocolate covered strawberries. We ate at a restaurant called Nine Men, which was one of the best Hamburgers I ever had. Then we went back to our hotel and took a nap. We got up and headed to Medieval Times and had a good time. Got back and jumped in the hot tub for about an hour and then went to bed.

Monday: Got up and went down the street to this store that we kept driving by and I bought me a bunch of cute outfits. We left, gas'ed up and headed home.....we got to Arlington and we were hungry and we stopped and ate at Panchos...yummy.....then we drove home. Me and another girl slept in the back seat and then I finally got home.

Now I'm tired and I need to unpack and my house is a mess. I guess I know what it would be like if I wasn't ever home. But I missed my family, my hubby, and my BED!!! I swear those 4 days seemed like a month. I thought that I was gone for so long and I spent more money than I should have.

March 17

I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. -Ezekiel 34:26

Saint Patricks Day

March 16

"...I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." -John 15:15

March 15

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. -Psalm 8:1

Mine and Marks 9 years together anniversary!!!

March 13/14

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

14-Daylight Savings Time

14-Mothering Sunday (UK)

March 12 ( my mommas birthday :))

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble... -Hebrews 12:15

March 11

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. -Job 8:21

March 10

...I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power... to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ... -Ephesians 3 :17,18

March 9

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being... -Ephesians 3:10

March 8

Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn. -Isaiah 60:3

Old and New Kitchen (start from the bottom & go up)

We are done!!! well, we still have some trimming left, but other than that, we are done!!! There is still a few things I would LOVE to get done, but its going to cost some moolah and we are tight from just doing all that. I would love to put in a new bay window, some track lighting, and a stove top microwave, so I can get that one off of our counter so we can have more space. Also, I loaded the pictures backwards and honestly, I'm tired and about to go to bed and don't want to fix it, lol. My kitchen was dirty in the before pictures, because I actually already started to redo the kitchen. My mom loved the basket wallpaper....I remember when she picked it out and I told her I didn't like it. She didn't care because it wasn't my house, lol. But I was kid and didn't care eitther. This is the last room that my mom did that I haven't done yet. My mom did do our big bathroom, and I have some of the decorations up still. I think the big bathroom is going to be the next room. I already re-did the floor in there, but it does need new paint and new curtains and new fixtures. I also told my grandpa that I will redo his room. But he has some furniture in there, that is like impossible to remove and move around. I would love to rip up the carpet and paint it. My grandpa likes his old furniture, so I wont touch that. We don't have the most nicest, or fanciest house, but I'm thankful to have a house and that I can redo. God is good to us!!! Maybe now that we are getting all this out of the way, we can get pregnant and have a healthy baby, pregnancy and delivery. :)

Valentines Day

I uploaded some pics and there were Valentines Day pictures on there, so I'm going to share them. Not to many and not very good ones, but this is what I do....I blog. lol. I'm sitting here at this moment thinking, what we did. I cant remember. Is that sad? Maybe its because its late. All I remember is these cards....oh wait....this is the time that we went and started on our kitchen. We went out and ate the night before at the new Genghis grill and we picked out our new table and chairs. The next night which was actually Valentines Day, we just grabbed something to eat and went to church and I think thats it, lol.

Me, looking rough, lol

Tulips Mark got me....I love white and I love tulips!!!

See

Took 2 of them, and they are both negative. But I started my period today, well the 6th and I was hoping that I would of started on the 5th. For the past 3 months, I have been every 28 days and thats never happened for me before. So I was hoping that maybe my body was getting on track and hoping for that positive!!! When I had went to my OB, I told him about them every 28 days and he told me that, it was excellent that they were like that. Well Im thinking that because the stress and worry this week might of caused the delay. I know everyone wants to know this too, lol, but I havent had the cramps like I normally do either. Im talking about, bending over, 4 tylonal at a time, wanting to cry cramps. Who knows what the future brings!!

3 years of marriage

So Wednesday was our anniversary!!! Our 3rd year anniversary March 3, 2007!!! That was a wonderful day, a memorable day. 3 years later and we still dont have a family. But I hope and pray that this time next year, we will be a bigger family. I have pictures of our anniversary, very little, just a few, but I hope to put them up soon!! I am on the home computer, instead of my laptop, cause I have been taking my laptop to work this week.

I had to work, my grandpa was in the hospital and Mark was tired and doing chores, since all this went down. So after I got off work, we went and visited my grandpa and then went to eat at Pelican's, we had never been there and then we back to visit my grandpa and then went home and I went to bed early, lol. I was so tired. We are going to try and celebrate our anniversary spring break, which the 15th is our 9 year anniversary. I got this card at Mardel's which when I first read it, it explained everything how I felt....and every card that I read after that, didnt compare....here it is...

For my Husband- The love of my life

In the beginning of our

marriage we had no idea

what the years would

bring, or how clearly
we would see God's grace

in the love He's given to us.

He's been with us

every step of the way...

nurturing, growing,

and strengthening

this incredible

gift of

lifetime love.

It feels good to travel

trough life with my best friend--

a man I admire, respect, and

love more than anyone

else in the world.

I know good things are ahead of us

because God is with us....

and I look forward to

seeing His best with you.

Happy Anniversary!!

my week

It has been a hectic week, because the day before my grandpa went into the hospital. He went to Carl's Jr. with his friend and his friend said that he was eating and then all of a sudden he put the fork to his mouth like he was going to take a bite and he stopped and then he looked like he went into LaLa land. He said he looked like that for like 3 -5 minutes and he yelled for someone to call an ambulance. After the 3-5 minutes, he told me he went back to normal and that he walked to the ambulance. He still went in to get checked out and they admitted him. I told the whole day off Tuesday and stayed with him, cause I am the only person who knows everything about him, he dosent know or remember. My grandpa is my only parent I have left. He has been the "dad" in my life, since my dad wasnt in my life. He has always treated me like a grandchild though, so I got the best of both worlds. Since my mom died, he is someone who I am trying to hold onto. Its so hard to lose your parent, and I know that he is old, but I am hoping that he will get to be a grandparent to my little one, one day. He loves and adores babies, and you would be amazed how much they love him. They told me when I was little, that when I wouldnt stop crying, they would hand me to him, and I would stop. Also, my cousins baby, Cameron, my grandpas great grandson, when he held him, my cousin said, hes never seen Cameron smile so much before. To see the amazment on my cousins face as he watches our grandpa hold his baby smiling, because of our grandpa was amazing!!!

He is out of the hospital now, and they said the reason was because he has low potassium. I felt so bad, when the ER doctor told me that it was low. I had stopped getting his pills cause my grandpas Medicare Part B had this deductible and it wasnt paying for any of his prescriptions. They are so expensive and so I was going to wait and I didnt know that it was such a big deal. I was wrong!!! I have gotten all his meds right, now and Im getting alot of stuff done, that I have been slacking on. His heart was in excellent shape, praise the Lord and they checked his neck, Im sure for a stroke.

God is just amazing how he works in our lives. I pray for my grandpa everyday and I hope he stays with us for many more years!!!



I also have been going to bed early every night. I feel sorry for Mark, because he was off and I would just fall asleep. He kept telling me, that I was snoring. Usually if I snore, its because I am really tired, or sick. I have PMSing all week and it usually does it for me.....Thats right....Im not pregnant....I took 2 test. Not sure why I took the 2nd one. I guess I just want to see the 2 lines so bad that I think their always wrong. I went ahead and got me clomid, so we shall see what that will do. Even though Im going out of town for 3 days without my husband, lol. So I dont know what that is going to be like. I feel a peace in me about the baby thing. I still want one, but Im okay without one right now. Maybe its because I havent had any time to think about it latley, lol....who knows....

March 6/7

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18

March 5

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace... -1 Corinthians 14:33

March 4

He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge... -Psalm 144:2

March 3 (Our 3 year Anniversary)

Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. -Isaiah 12:5

March 2

Ask the Lord for rain in the springtime; it is the Lord who makes the storm clouds. He gives showers of rain to men, and plants of the field to everyone. -Zechariah 10:1

March 1

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." -Mark 16:15

February 27/28

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. -Daniel 12:3

Thanks friends

Tina Pearce said...
You have been waiting a long time...but God has a perfect timing...when you do get pregnant, you will find out why God waited..even though it took us 9 months to get Judah, I now understand why he made us wait...its one of those things you don't understand until he gives you that revelation..but God put that desire in your heart and as a woman of God, you will get that desired fufilled...it may not be exactly when or how you planned it...but it will happen...you got to stop putting time limits on it or you will drive yourself nuts...just let it happen...it will!! :) I love you!!
March 1, 2010 7:19 AM

Lindsey said...
Dear God, please give Rachel a peace and comfort that only you can give. Please allow her to believe and trust completely in you. Help her to give it all to you and to not stress and worry. please God if it is not meant for her and Mark to be parents, please take that desire from them. Help them to pray for your will and for patience to wait for your timing. God I pray all this in your most holy and precious name, AMEN!


Its really amazing to have friends, who pray for you and encourage you. I love having Christian friends who knows God and knows his miracles and blessings. Thanks ladies for every word you have said to me. You dont know how much it helps and eases my heart!!! Your the best!!