This week has been sooo....weird, sad, depressing, confusing, upsetting, heartbreaking. I mean, Mark left yesterday to stay in a hotel. He said he needs some time apart from me, but man....its been a little over 24 hours, but it feels like a year. He still texts me and talks to me every once in awhile, but its not enough for me. I know people need their time, and he says hes still confused whether or not he wants to be with me. Its so scary, because I want to be with him more than anything. Nothing matters, if hes not here. I married him and took my vows seriously. I don't know why the devil has a hold on him and why Mark wont open his heart to the Lord. I know the Lord doesn't want us to get divorced and so I know the devil is lieing to him. I hope we can overcome this and be more stronger than ever. I want him to look at me and see me and not the person that I was before. I promise I will change to be a submissive wife to glorify the Lord. I know everything that I was doing before, was against God and so he wasn't going to bless our marriage. I want us to be strong and depend on the Lord.
On another note, I'm actually having ovulating pains for the first time in a long time. And I looked at my due date baby, and already at 36 weeks. Who would of known, when we found out that we were pregnant, that in 9 months, or less we would be here instead. But I'm okay with going through this, if only as long as we come out strong on the other side. I want him to know how much I love him and how much I'm willing to change. Not because of this, but because I WANT TOO!!! I really want to be what kind of wife God wants me to be. Now if only Mark will see that and give me another chance at proving to him that I'm no longer a b word.
Please keep us in your prayers....I'M never giving up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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