My husband I have been together since we were 15. We met each other online and then when my mom died when I was 16, he came up and was with me during the hard time. Then when we graduated high school at 18, he came up here to be with me. (he lived 6 hours away) At 19, I found out I had cancer. My husband was there with me every night and helped take care of me. At 21 we got married. It was a happy time, but I take care of my grandpa, and he was in the hospital the whole time. I was hard during that time, with trying to plan a wedding by ourselves and at the same time, my grandpa was on his death bed. My grandpa turned for the better and is alive today. A year after our wedding, we found out we were pregnant. We miscarried our twins at 6 weeks and at 13 weeks. It was a hard time, and then for the next 2 years we were trying. I knew it was taking a toll on our marriage, but we still had the desire for a family. Then this past summer, I got pregnant. My husband didnt let me do anything, he was so scared of miscarrying our baby. It turns out though that it was an ectopic pregnancy and I had to take chemo shots to dissolve our baby(There was no baby growing with a heartbeat.)
So we started trying and even in December we prayed to see if we should do fertility pills again. He told me, he thinks we should, so we started trying for a baby. In December, 2 days before Christmas, my husband told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore. I got so scared that I told him, maybe we should try counseling. He agreed. We started going, and the counselor told me that she wants to speak to me with one-on-one sessions. I agreed and I started to work on myself. I was a very controlling wife and I even hit my husband every once in awhile, which he never deserved. My husband told me, he can see a change in me, but he thinks its too late. My husband left the house one day and said he needs time to think. The whole time, for the past few months, he had been cheating on me. He was already checked out of our marriage, when I was fighting and changing everything that I could do, to help better it. I dont understand, with everything we have gone through, why he would leave me for a whore. She knew he was married and was encouraging him to leave me. We lived a Godly life and even waited till we were married (6 years) to make love. How can he just jump in the bed with another woman so fast? How can he agree on trying for a baby when he was sleeping with her? How can he just fall out of love with me? I dont understand. Im hurting. Im longing for the man that I fell in love with and Im scared he will never be that man again. I want to fight for our marriage and that God can touch him and show him what hes doing is wrong. But at the same time, I want to quit and move on. My emotions are flowing through me strong, and Its so hard. I would love to have someone to talk too during this time and if anyone can help maybe answer some of my questions I would appreciate it!!
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