That's how I woke up today. My mind is like scatter brained with alot of stuff on my mind of how much my husband has changed. I just don't want to care anymore of what he does, but he surprises me all the time. I can see hes searching and looking for peace, for understanding, for an answer, for happiness, as I am too. But I think hes starting to slowly look in the wrong places again. I don't want to worry about him......its hard to let go. Maybe I should just cut my ties with him all together?! But I do still care about him, as he is the father of my 3 precious babies and we have spent the past 10 years together. He was my best friend......that's what hurts I think more than ANYTHING!
I am at a place in my life where I'm just taking it a day a time and living life to the best I can. I'm not sitting around hoping or anything.....I just know what God has put in my heart, and its hard to get around that. I hate the feeling of the devil winning this battle. I want happiness for all of us, together or not.
I think more than anything.....I want my security, my happiness, my dreams back. I want to wake up and have hope about my future. I want a family......I want peace!
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