Having faith

During this time of my life, I cant have anything but faith.

I need faith with:

*Trusting God that He will restore my marriage and change Marks heart
*That God will take care of mine and my grandpas needs
*That everything that I have gone through will be a big testimony one day
*One day I will have the children and the family that I desire
*Putting and keeping God first
*That God is enough


This new journey in my life is a fight!!!! Its something worth fighting for even though I don't see how it will unfold. I know God has put this fire in my heart to pray for Mark and for our marriage. I cant give up on someone because he sinned. I know God can restore his heart and make it clean and Mark can repent. I haven't been perfect either and I know I had to go to God and repent. The waiting part is the hardest. I want Mark to be that Godly man that I need. I need him to lead me and love as Christ loves the church. I need him to want to have the desire to learn about God and have us as a family learn and grow in God. I want God to be number one and always number one. I want us to pray together. I want us to raise our beautiful babies up together to God. I want him to look at me and know that I'm what he wants and no one else. I want him to love me as he loves himself, if not more.

This is where my faith comes in. I know waiting is going to be the hardest part. But I know during this time is when I can learn and grow closer to God. Its not in our time, but Gods!