I dont deserve Gods mercy

This is going to be a blog about something close to me and something out and open.  Sometimes when I write in my blogs I don't share everything because believe it or not, I do keep some things personal in my life, ha!   I feel like lately God has been working in my life and I cant be more grateful.

So, for the past year and half, I have been holding on to my ex husband.  When I say I was holding on, I didn't feel like I was holding on to him on purpose or even holding on to the thought of us being together.  I just for some reason couldn't shake him and my feelings to go away.  I knew that I was going to have to let go, when something happened, either pregnancy or marriage for him.  Well, one of those happened and the weight that was holding me down, released.

I have been praying about being bored and stuck for a long time.  I knew that God was preparing something for me, but I just didn't feel the peace that I longed to have.  When the weight got lifted, I felt instantly, God preparing me.  I could feel it in my heart that something was about to change, something new and exciting was about to happen.  I no longer felt stuck and I just waited and prayed.

My book retreat is this weekend and the girls and I talk through messages through facebook and I had always thought maybe I was the only one who wasn't super excited or eager to go, but it was great to hear almost every woman have had something come up or have doubts of going and we knew it was from the enemy.  We all had clarification that this was Gods will and He opened the doors and put that peace in our hearts and now I think we are ready to go and super excite
d.  I hope this is something that God wants me to focus on and start to write.  I think about my testimony everyday and I think of things on what I would want to put in my book and how I would word things.

I have no regrets in this life.  I wouldn't change one thing.  I'm not perfect and I have done things that I'm not proud of, but I still wouldn't change them.  Even with my "mistakes", I have met wonderful life long friends and people I love and who love me that I would never change. 

So today I had a job interview.  It was something that my friend had helped me with and we finally talked and met up and we are going to meet next week to go over the job.  I came home and to
ok a nap and when I woke up I went into the living room to watch the Ranger game with my grandpa.  We were just sitting there and jokingly I was going to play my 2 voicemails, because I knew one of them was my grandpa and the first one was a job that I applied for that I never listened too today and I got excited, and wrote down the name and number and so I'm calling them in the morning.  Its not a 100% that I got it, but its my DREAM job.  A job that I have been wanting since I was a kiddo.  When I saw online that they were hiring, it took me over an hour to fill out, but I did it, and was super excited!!!  The crazy thing with me, is that if I get it, I will have 4 jobs.....and I love it!!! :) 

So with me having total faith and trust in God, He is showing me that He will take care of me and that His timing is right.  I don't know where anything is going to go with this, but I trust that His plan for my life will unfold as I surrender more and more each day.