Im done trying....I think its just bullshit at this point. I dont even want a baby anymore. Its never going to happen, so why even try and dream!!! I think Mark and I will be just fine being together and growing old together. I get tired of people telling me, that it will happen, and its in Gods time. What if it was never in God's time??? What if I was waiting on something that would never happen??? HUH? Does anyone ever think about those things? Dont try and make me feel better and tell me lies, when you and I both know its not going to happen. Im just done with it!!
Tomorrow will mark 2 years since we lost our first twin Adam William.....2 freakin years and Im still not pregnant or have a child. See.....its not meant to be. Maybe God gave me those babies so I can love on them in heaven, and I just wasnt suppose to have any baby to love here on earth.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I totally understand as I have also been very frustrated about it all lately. It does feel as though it is never going to happen. I know I can't say anything to make you feel better and believe that it will happen. Because I know sometimes it is just too hard to let it go and feel ok with it all. And no matter how strong your faith, it is so easy to doubt. I would love to talk to you sometime. Feel free to call me anytime and maybe we can be encouragement buddies through all of this frustration. My email is lmcwkennedy@sbcglobal.net. My phone # is (405)642-2631. Also, could you send me your address b/c there is something I would like to send you. Hang in there girl! God loves you!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry :(....I know this doesn't make you feel any better, but I know people personally that it took 10 plus years to get pregnant...they never found a reason why either...so it may not be that you will never have a baby...it just may not be now...I wish I could do something for you...I really do...everyones situation is different...you may never understand why you lost the twins or why its taking so long...I just wish I could help you...but I know nothing I say will help...please let me know if you need someone to talk to...im sorry :(
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