I had to step away from a few things to focus on me, to focus on God and my responsibilities. The crazy thing is, one day I went into my closet and noticed a few things hanging there, brand new, never worn, some with tags on it. I thought, hmm....maybe I can sell some on the computer and earn a few bucks off them since its just sitting there. Then I started going through each and every item to see whats worth selling on the computer and whats worth just for a garage sale.
I have been extremely blessed!!!! I cant complain with all of the blessings God has given me and the dedication to make a few extra bucks. Not only am I making some money on things that I have that just sat there, but I'm cleaning and throwing away stuff.
I also have been trying to walk with the Lord and do His will. I have been trying to better myself, still eat right and be loving as Jesus is. I have put up a wall with certain things that needed to be built and I have accepted things and moved on past things that was holding me down. I am still human and I still have my faults and weaknesses like the next person.
My friendships with people have gotten stronger and more sincere and true. I have enjoyed getting to know some new people and even some people Ive known but got closer too.
I don't know what my whole purpose of life in this world is, but I am having fun learning and trying to figure it out as God leads me. I have been becoming more at peace and more independent as each day goes by. In fact....I went to go eat lunch at a place where they cook in front of you, by myself today. I got to talk to some people I didn't know and even the cook, whom I have known for 10 years, cooked for me, which rarely happens and he talked to me and even said if he known I was coming alone, he would of sat on the other side with me. How sweet is that!!!! Today, in a way...I felt pampered....I felt like God was shining through everyone towards me. It was this amazing feeling and yet just comforted. It felt like God was wrapping His arms around me and assuring me that everything is going to be okay. I even sat down today, talked to my grandpa and at one point, he came into my room, sat down and we talked about God. I loved it!!! I enjoy the moments I have with him and his awesome personality that just comforts you. He came over, kissed me on my forehead and told me he loved me before he went to bed. I enjoy taking care of my grandpa. Hes not at a point where he needs care or help with personal stuff, but just someone to take him to church and to places, get him the things he needs, which I totally don't mind. Its just my life.....hes my kiddo!!! He takes care of me and I feel like he does more for me than I do him sometimes. My goal is to get stable enough financially that if something did happen, I could take care of myself. I know God would take care of me, not matter what and to have faith like that, is an amazing, peaceful feeling.
I'm not about making the most money or having the most nicest thing. I actually enjoy struggling a little bit, because I feel like you appreciate it more. I want a good, respectable, stable job where I can grow, love, enjoy and help people in some way. I know God has this job out there for me and I wont lie...sometimes I get a little insecure that people look at me as a 27 year old, bumming off of her grandpa, not wanting to work or do anything. The kicker is.....all my close friends know that I am willing to work and would love to find a job now if I could. My coworkers at my job now, all say I'm one of the most hardest workers they have, that I even work harder then some managers. I enjoy working, providing and earning my dollar. I appreciate it!!! I think financially Ive had it easy my whole life. I'm not saying I was rolling in money or had the nicest things, but I never had to worry about a bill being shut off or anything like that. Ive had to worry about certain bills being late or paid, but nothing extreme and not often. I feel so blessed for that, I am totally not bragging, but I think that's why I do enjoy earning my own money. Its a very accomplishing feeling!!I don't know what the future holds, what tomorrow brings, next weeks weather or next months memories, but I do know that God is an amazing God!!! I love Him so much and I honestly feel like Hes my husband right now....he takes care of me and provides and loves me like no other!! I cant wait for the man God has for me to walk into my life and wisp me off my feet!!! I can feel him.....I can feel him getting closer and I already love him and I don't even know him. I love a man, I don't even know......its awesome!!!! Its a feeling that I have never felt before, but its from God and that's what makes it that much special!!!
A thousand years
