You wanna know something kind of weird? I havent looked at the baby growing thing I have at the bottom of this page since I re-did it. But I went to my cafemom and was thinking....I wonder how far along I would be? So I came here to my page and it is the exact day that I miscarried my baby boy Mark Jr. It was kind of bittersweet. To think back on that scary, sad day, but I know hes in Heaven, playing with all my friends babies and his brother and sister.
Another thing that is crazy to me, is since this past pregnancy this summer, baby, hasnt been on my mind. Mark keeps praying for a baby and Im thinking....why, does it keep asking for that? I dont know whats wrong with me. Its like all of a sudden, I dont know If Im ready for one. I dont know my body and what its doing....I havent been taking my medicine....we are totally broke....we need another car...school just started, so Im busy.....Maybe its just all those things combined. I havent really thought about it or concentrated on it. I had my kidney exam, and everything came back fine, Praise the Lord, but I was worried about that too. Maybe once things settle down and get back in the groove of things, I might feel it again. I still, just a little bit have brown when I go to the bathroom, so I guess we shall see with AF gets here. Its just crazy!! Maybe God just took the desire away for me for the moment. I know I want a family, but maybe right now its not the right time.
Im leaving it all in Gods hands!!!
I think your just to busy right now and there is a lot of things going on and that just got pushed to the back of your mind. I know you still want to have a baby, just concentrate on what you have going now and then it will work out in the end!
ReplyDeleteRachel, God may just be giving you the peace you need, and thats why your not thinking about it much. You and Mark are amazing people, and have been thru so much. I love you, and I'm sorry I havent been on much, we JUST got our comp back!
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