Looking back and understanding that I was with someone since I was 15 years old, that I never got to find out who I was, who Joy Rachel is. I know each day, week, month and year each person changes, they grow, they learn and they change with age and life's choices. Right now, at this moment, I am content with life. Of course there are things that I would want a bit different, but I feel 'free'. I can go and do whatever I want, however I want, with whomever I want and not have to answer to anyone or a child or a parent, just ME!!! I feel like God has given me this time, to take for myself, to be more independent and to just fully trust in God for everything without co-depending on someone else to satisfy me and my happiness.
I wish and hope each person can experience what I am right now. Is my life perfect? Of course not!! There are pros and cons to everything, but to just live by faith each day, is a rewarding experience, a very humbling, peaceful experience. I'm loving life and loving experiencing new things, new places, new people, and things I have been wanting to do!! I love hanging out with my friends and meeting new friends and going to new places!!! I have just been thinking that we have one life and each day is precious, so why not make it the best you can with what you got at the location you are, in that moment!!!???
I just feel like I'm flying in the wind and I'm letting the wind take me wherever I go in this life!!! Its a faith that I trust God, that I know He wants the best for me and His plan IS what will make me truly happy and content in life, no matter the circumstances.
I just wanted to share the above picture. I sometimes look at past pictures and try to figure out who that person was at that time and where I have came from since it was taken. Of course we all have these pictures and theres no regrets or anything, but I am honestly proud of who I have become and the strength I have endured over the past few years. I'm also proud of myself for trying to accept my appearance and working on to make me feel more confident about myself. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm slowly working on it and trying to eat better and just be healthy!
For the first time in my life, I'm actually living each day one by one. I'm no longer dwelling in the past and not looking too far in the future!! I'm just walking each day and letting God stir me in the direction. Where He goes, I will follow!!!!
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