2s and 3s

I don't want to jinx myself when I say that I'm happy!!! I told God tonight, "Lord, I'm happy, that I'm happy".  I have had a few friends who have came to me with some of their personal issues.  I LOVE that they feel that they can come to me and I'm not trying to sound mean at all when I say this, but I'm glad to be on this side of the fence for once.  I feel like I have been the one reaching out to other people for so long, that I love that I'm strong enough right now and living the right lifestyle that I can actually help and encourage others.  I don't wish that any of them would be having any problems or issues in their life, but I know we all have them every once in awhile.  Sometimes they last short, sometimes long, but Faith in God is the only key to getting over or having peace about an issue.  I know God wants us to reach out and depend on Him with everything.  Sometimes we don't feel Him or we don't understand why its happening.  We also might not understand why we arn't getting something we need or done right away, but how much depandability and how much more do we reach out to God and trust Him when we don't get something we need or done right away?

Trust me.....Its almost 2 years since Mark left and around this time of the year is when he started to cheat on me.  I remember when he left, a few people told me, 'give it some time' and 'I can see y'all working it out, but it might be a couple of years'.  I always said, "What? A couple of years??? I cant go through this for that long".  Here I am!!!!  Its been almost a couple of years and we are no longer together and we have both moved on and I'm still alive!!!! I had to go through the 2 years, to learn, grow, cry, laugh, fear, be hopeful, be doubtful, and go through the emotions of a life altering event in my life.  What would I of learned if he left, we got divorced in a 6 month span?  Not much!!!  I have gone through my emotions and that alone has made me that much stronger.  I cant say that I would take any of the time in the past 2 years back.  I love who I have become!!!!  It makes me tear up to sit here and honestly say, I'M HAPPY!!!!  Happy tears of course!!! I'm at peace!!!!

Some thoughts that have been coming through my head the past week have been.....'Wow, I don't know what to do when there isn't anything bad going on' and 'I wonder when the next bad thing is going to happen'.  Its sad.....its sad to think that, but I don't want to think those things, because I'm blessed!!!!  My storm is over!!! I'm not saying I wont have anymore storms or bad weather in my life, in fact I know I will!!!!  My storm with Mark is over!!!!   My storm with myself is over!!!!!  I am living for the Lord and I know with me doing His will, I WILL be blessed!!!  I can be blessed in the middle of a storm even if things arn't going my way.  God is just amazing and He wants us to go to Him, to reach out to Him.

I have 3 friends who are struggling right now.  Who have all 3 reached out to me the past few days.  I'm not going to call any of them out and if they are reading this, I want to say thank you for coming to me.  I will always be here and I enjoy praying and giving the best advice I can to you all.  It just hit me though when I was typing.....I have 3 friends.
~One of them is struggling with something that looks like cant get fixed for awhile.  They have to live with it and trust and depend on God that they can live through it till then.  So they wait.
~The other one is trusting God to provide, but dosen't know when, but still has faith that God will come through soon.
~Another one had a dalima, thought it was going to take awhile to handle, didn't know the outcome, but God came right away and answered their prayers.

Its not really a future, present, past tense kind of a thing, but in a way it is.  We don't know why God answers prayers or even sometimes don't give us what we think is best for us at that time or any time, but God is Almighty!!!! He knows us better than we know ourselves!!!!  He knows whats best for us, what we need, what we don't need, what we can handle and what we cant.  Gods of love, of peace, of mercy, and of forgiveness.

I know when we are in the middle of a storm or crisis, me telling you these things, might not really be helping you.  You know it all, you've heard it all, and its not fixing the problem, but when you lift it up to God and really just cry out, there is a peace, His arms wrapping around you that make it feel that much better, that much easier, that might lighter of a load for you.

I have always been a fact paced person.  I don't like poking around, I like to get things done asap!!!   I was just thinking of my "fast paced" of a lifestyle, how much time actually I had to wait or waited in my life of storms.  I watched my mom suffer from cancer for 2 years before she died.  I waited 2 months of "knowing" of my cancer before I had my surgery to see if it spread or not.  I had infertility issues for 2 years of struggling, month after month after month, and then I have came to peace with my life after Mark left and me going through what I have for 2 years now.  AND I JUST SEEN, it was all  a (2).  I already know that I have storms in my life every 3 years and now, my waiting is a 2. Interesting!!!!  My storms are literally every 3 years....
Mom dies 16
Cancer 19
Miscarried Twins 22
Mark leaves 25

Lets just say I'm not looking forward to 28, lol.  They say everything comes in 3's, well that's 4 things in a row....I went over!!!

I cant live my life on numbers, but it is strange how its all happened like that. 
If I didn't have the time to go through the emotions and grow then I wouldn't be who I am!

I love getting to know people now and their life lessons.  I love to learn their ups and downs and struggles, so hopefully I wont go through some.  Someone told me the other day that I'm really good with people, that I'm just someone that people like to be around.  I never would of been that person 2 years ago.  I lived in my bubble and didn't want to  know anyone knew to enter into my life.  I literally have women coming in the store that I work at, yelling, Hi Rachel!!!!!  I love it!!!!  I love the fact that people are excited to see me and remember who I am and how I helped them!!  That's what we are here on this earth to do and I want people to see on fire for God and to see kindness.  I have to admit, I haven't blown up and got angry like I used too in a very long time.  I get angry or pissed at something when I'm tired or just woke up or if I'm pmsing, but that's normal human behaviour.  I'm not angry at anything anymore.  I want to show other people, what God can do for them and how He can make them feel!!! :)

So I hope everyone reading this, didn't get too bored!!!  I just feel like writing though, I really need to take a shower and get to bed.  I have a busy day again tomorrow, but I JUST realized, I get to sleep in, but I just have a long night ahead of me.  I was supposed to be off, but took 2 shifts....ha.....2 (giggles).  Maybe these numbers will showing something to me one day....lol.....you  never know!!!! :)

Well my fine furry friends!!! I appreciate you reading my stuff and I really hope you find something that helps you or is encouraging in your life.  God is really amazing and if you don't know Him, I would ask Him to come into your heart!!!  He just rocks my world!!!  Like my friend said on facebook.....I'm in love with a man, and his name is Jesus.....I told her, we are in love with the same man!!!! :)

Goodnight loves!!!