Dr Apt.

So I woke up today and went to my yearly woman's exam. *fun fun* It actually wasn't so bad. I swear the ones I have gone to before, took forever, this was like 30 seconds. Why did these other people take so long? Anyways, when he came in he started talking about the next step for pregnancy. I was glad, because that's why I was there. So we have:

1. Checked Marks Semen

2. Got on Zoloft to ease my stress

3. Tried pre-seed and pre-concieve

and the crazy thing too, is I told him that my periods have been coming every 28 days for the past 3 months. He told me that was huge. He told me since Im having regular periods, I must be ovulating normal, and I did tell him I was ovulating cause of my ovulation pains that I get.

So he told me the next step he wants me to do is to get a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test done. So Tuesday, I have a test to see if my fallopian tubes are open. They will go in and shoot dye in my ovaries and tubes to see if they are open and if they arnt blocked or have damaged or anything. I did ask him what are the chances of having blocked tubes when I got pregnant before? He told me very slim. But then the more I researched, some blocked tubes can be caused from past surgery's (check) and from pregnancy loss (check). I have had both of those things, but I am praying that there is nothing wrong. They also said and even the research has said that alot of women get pregnant right after the test is done, because sometimes the dye will clear out anything that might of been blocking in there, like mucus or something. Sometimes I get my hopes up with that kind of stuff and I always feel like I get let down. I remember when they said, after you miscarry and after you have a baby you are more likely to get pregnant....well that didn't happen either.

I never knew in a million years, I would be struggling so much and be going through all of this just to get pregnant. I always thought it was going to be a breeze...boy was I wrong.

Do you think that I'm rushing God? Do you think that I'm not listening to him? The Dr. prescribed me clomid again, even though he told me this month was to late to take it, and me and Mark have been praying to see if this is what God wants us to do.

I really get tired of people telling me that "oh your still young". Well I have been trying for over 2 years, so who was to say that it'll be another 4 years. I really do want to have more than one kid. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a mother. But I do know that God told me I am going to get pregnant. This just stinks....I feel discouraged!!!

Please, please, please pray for me and my heart and Gods will and for my test results to come out good!!! Hopefully this will be our month. I would love for these test to come out normal and we DID get pregnant. I would love to have a baby growing in my belly :)