Wednesday, March 28, 2012

High on life

Monday
I am so happy right now.....I don't know what it is....oh wait, I do!!!! Its God. I feel special sometimes with God, like I'm his favorite, because he has given me this peace. I feel like the chains that were holding me down are slowly being released and I'm becoming free. My divorce isn't over yet, but for some reason God is giving me peace that this is what needs to happen. I feel like God has put in my heart that Mark is going to choose to live in sin and I tried everything I could, and I can go on in life with a peace that I tried to save my marriage. God knows my heart and knows that I wanted to do the right thing and was willing to do anything for my marriage. But I'm being set free with it and am looking forward to the man God has created for me. I think about it everyday. I want that connection and bond with someone that my heart always yearned for. I want that Godly man that my soul intertwines with. I don't regret anything with Mark or Cass for they both are who made me who I am today. I just know God has this plan for me and wants to use me so much that he helps take away and put people in my life that needs to be there.


Tuesday
Today was a good day. I'm feeling so good about who I'm surrounding my life with. Each day is getting better and better with where my life is going. I love this peace that God has given me. I do wish Mark and her happiness and I hope they do turn to God. I don't really worry about Mark anymore and where he is in life. I did worry and wanted to "fix" him and I had put all my focus on him. But Mark knows what hes doing and he knows the choices hes making. If Mark is truly saved, then he feels it in his heart whats right and wrong, but its not my concern. I have to move on and focus on me and my choices. I do thank God for letting me get unattached to him.

My future has so many possibilities with God and I know he has a purpose for me in this life. I feel like I'm getting a second chance on life and I want this next time to be a path that God made for me.

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