Yardwork

I woke up this morning determined to get my yard done. I had been wanting to for awhile, but the mower has been broken. I asked Mark to come over to fix it, but knew if he was going too it was going to be later in the day and I didn't have time to wait. So I woke up around 11am, went to the bathroom and walked outside and tried to see if the mower might want to cooperate today. It actually started and didn't yank my hand off and I got about 5 feet. Stopped, put it up and went inside, got dressed and headed to Lowes.

I went, got what I wanted, nothing fancy, and even a weed eater. I went to the counter with my credit card and it wouldn't work. I hadn't been to Lowes and used my Lowes card in forever and so I didn't even activate my card. So I stepped out of line and called them. They said my account was closed. They said they closed it due to not using it. I had to reapply. Well everyone was busy and the one woman who did do it, didn't know what she was doing. I do apps everyday at my job and I know if it says to call the call center, they do it, not the customer. Anyways, she gave me the info and I called them. They were a little disturbed that I was calling and not the worker. But anyways, I was approved but they didn't give me a card number. They said, all I needed at the register was my license. I knew it was not going to be that easy. Sure enough.....it wasn't. The dude that was checking me out, tried every which way to put my name in and it wasn't taking it. Another dude came over and had to re-call them and get it. Finally after an hour of being there, I left.

I didn't know how I was going to get my stuff in my little car, and it was so windy. I seen the box wasn't going to fit in my trunk, so the next option was the back seat. My grandpa was tired and walking slow and I'm trying to lift a 60 something pound box in the back seat with my car door trying to close on me. All of a sudden, this man came and helped me. Not only is he just a man, but my neighbor from across the street. Not only did he help me, but we put it in the back of his vehicle and he met me at my house and helped me unpack it. I'm telling you something, God does miracles. I wasn't expecting this. I didn't ask God to help me. He knew I needed help and he placed him at the same time of us walking out together. God knew that I was going to need help, God knew that I needed to take time at the register and all the pain and waiting for my credit card was going to place us at the same time in that moment. God amazes me almost every day with his blessings to me.

I was aggravated though, because everything did take longer than I thought and I had to assemble this new lawn mower. I really just wanted to take it out of the box and start. But I couldn't. I had to put the oil and gas in it. Assemble the handle and tighten it. But when I started, it was like heaven. I spent 4 hours today doing my yard work. I used to push a mower and it kill my back and was very uncomfortable. Nope, not today. I felt young and vibrant and ready to get it all done. In fact I did. In fact, I mowed where it didn't even need to be mowed, just so it would of been that quarter of an inch better. Then when that was all said and done. I dragged out the weed eater, put that thing together and weedeaded. Loved it!!! I was tired then. But I wasn't done. I came inside, took a shower, cleaned my room, cooked dinner, and did my nails, rested a bit and after writing this, is bible study time.

I love the fact that I can do what I want, when I want. I always based my life around someone else. I have to get this done before so and so gets home. Oh I need to wait till so and so gets home so we can do this. Don't get me wrong. I miss em. I miss having someone there. But I think what I would miss more, if no one told me they loved me, or wanted to be with me. I get those things. I feel needed and wanted. I turn down men weekly. I get asked out all the time and I smile and say, no thank you. So I'm still feeling pretty and men are interested in me. I know once the divorce is final, I will miss Mark. I mean, right now, hes still my husband. I'm still attached to him in some way. Even after Cass and I ended things, I missed Cass, but I knew we could both go on and not feel attached, though we always would, because we do love each other and was intimate together. What I learned in divorce class, is when you marry someone, you don't just break up and that's it. That person will always have a part of you, ALWAYS!!!! You were joined together. God looks at me and Mark as one, because we are under a vow. Being stripped away from each other, isn't a clean break. Its a sticky break that leaves parts of each other, stuck to each other always.

With Mark and I, we will always be each other firsts love, first everything! We will always have 3 babies together. Those are memories and things you don't forget. That you do carry special in your heart always. When we tell someone our story, our past, we will be explaining that person, the good, the bad, the ugly. The sad part is, I'm sure we will be telling different stories. But its okay!

So I'm going to be happy pulling out and pulling in my drive way the next few days, as my yard looks awesome and well groomed. I also want to get some little planters and put some pretty flowers in it, around my front door. I want to make it look spring like and inviting. Its been on my mind for awhile, but hadn't had the funds for it. Shoot, I still don't. But I would like too!!! haha!!!

Maybe if I get around to it tomorrow, I will take a picture :) I hadn't put any real pics up here in awhile. I cant promise anything though :)