God is first

I sit here every once in awhile and wonder how can I better myself. I wonder what I can ask God to help me work on. I know we all have our faults and our annoying habits or our weaknesses that effect others. I want to know what they are and learn them and grow and be a better person, a better witness, a better testimony to people. I want people to see Jesus in me. I was created for a reason and I was created to worship God. He created me to praise him and to worship him.

I was talking to my friend yesterday about, me being born. My mom was a single parent, who had me at 26. She did everything she could to make me happy and provide for me. We also had the help from my grandpa. I had the best of both worlds to me. No, my dad wasn't in my life, but I did have a male role model, which was my grandpa and if anyone knows him, he is such a sweet Godly man. I have been blessed with people in my life. But we were talking about, what if I wasn't ever born? I would of never married Mark, he would of never of moved up here. My best friend and I wouldn't have all these memories of me and my mom. We wouldn't be R & R. I wonder what my grandpa would be doing or where he would be at. I don't know if my mom would of moved to Wichita, because we are from Dallas. But then I started thinking about the people in my life, if they wernt ever alive. What if Mark was never born. All my memories of 15, with him in my life wouldn't of happened. I wonder who would of been there if anyone, with my mom and with my cancer and everything else. Then I was thinking if Rebecca wasn't in my life. She has helped me so much over my life's struggles and especially recently, I don't know who would of been there. So I want you to sit there and think about the people in your lives today. What if God took them away right now? What if their time was done on this earth? How much impact are they in your life. I think all the time about my grandpa. Hes getting old. I no longer stress and worry about it, because I have no control. I have given God control of my life, and I know that he will take care of my needs. I will miss my grandpa, but I know that one day I will see him in heaven. But we all are created for a purpose, for a reason. Are you living or have asked God what that purpose is? Do you realize what God can do for your life? Just the past few months of me surrendering to God, he has amazed me EVERY SINGLE WEEK!!! I know hes here with me, walking with me. There is no better feeling, a better peace, that feels like. STOP


So I had stopped typing and was reading my daily devotion.....which says this.....

How I love to see your heart that longs to do right, and your feet that want to walk int he path I have laid out for you! Do you think I will withhold the guidance you long for, the understanding of my Word that you read in search of knowing my mind? Of course not. But there are no shortcuts. Spend time in my Word. Spend time on your knees. The intensity of your search will be met with abundance of understanding. As you saturate yourself in my Word rather than snack on tidbits here and there, your questions will be answered, insight will be given, treasures will be revealed.

I feel like that's what I needed to hear today and hopefully it can touch someone else out there. God is real, God is loving, God is a jealous God and he wants all your attention, today, tomorrow and forever. God never leaves you and he gives you this feeling, that you don't need anyone else. God is enough for me. Anyone else in my life are just extra bonuses :)

I hope and pray for who ever is reading this, will be touched in their heart, to repent, and ask God to be first in their life. :)

I am Second book is awesome!!!!!!!! I have enjoyed reading it and would recommend it to anyone! Its about putting God first and then you second. About surrendering everything to God and basically a bunch of people who couldn't do it on their own anymore. Just like we all need to get to a place before its too late.