I find joy in doing good for you

They will be my people, and I will be their God. And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their descendants. And I will make and everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. Jeremiah 32:38-40

I find joy in doing good for you, my child. Will you trust me to determine what is good and to provide it for you in my timing, on my terms? While I welcome you to pour out your wants before me, how I long for you to become so confident in my good purposes toward you that you will no longer beg me to accomplish your predetermined positive outcomes.
As you become more convinced of my goodness and my commitment to your good, worship will move from a determined discipline to a natural outflow and expression of our love relationship.

You are a God who does not withhold from me. You have put a desire in my heart to worship you, which is your greatest good toward me....

This was March 26th devotion. I know alot of times we want NOW and we want what WE want. I know in the past Ive done it, we all have. But even to this day, I still tend to think whats best for me and I try to "settle", but God keeps putting it on my heart, that he has something and someone out there, waaayyyyy beyond I can even comprehend. He has these huge plans for me and my soul mate is out there, the person he has designed me to be with. But what he wants from me right now, is to wait and trust and have faith. I don't even want to look for the guy I'm supposed to be with, I don't want to look for my path, instead I simply want God to guide me and let his plans play out.

I say that, knowing that's its not going to be easy. In fact, you may see a post a few weeks from now, maybe a few months saying, Why is my life like this? Why can I do and get what I want now? I know I'm going to face some hard times, I know I'm going to face my down days. I know everyday cant be picture perfect-rainbows-lollipops-sunshine-happiness.

I just want to say this.....My whole life Ive done things fast. I can do almost anything fast and I can get so aggravated at people who do things slow or they just take their time. I don't have alot of patience and in fact, I always used to say that God accidentally forgot to add patience to me when I was born. I'm always in a hurry. I'm always living in the past and in the future and I have grown more and more to try and live in the moment. I cant go back and change things and I cant predict the future. In fact, everything that I thought my life would of been like as a kid, hasn't happened.

I never thought I would of lost my mom at 16, or got cancer at 19. Never thought that I would miscarry or struggle to get pregnant. Never thought that my husband would cheat and leave me and that I would start over in my mid twenties in life. But this is my life. I cant change it. I can make it better though to the best I can. I can try and do things my way, (hard way) or Gods way (having faith). Just because it might be Gods way, doesn't always make it easy, so that's why I said having faith. But when things do get hard or doesn't make sense, guess what? God wants you to come to him, for he will give you rest, he will give you peace. There is a reason to every trial that we face. There is a lesson learned, and we may not know it now, or may ever know it, or we may look back a week, a month, a year, 10 years later and be like...."ohhhhh, now I see and understand why God wanted me to go through that". I have looked back even to last week and see a change in me. Last week was a hard week for me, not because of what someone did, but because of what I did. I let the devil back in my life and he was starting to take control again, and I had to put my foot down. I'm at peace. The Holy Spirit consumes me and slaps me around a little bit. I think God knows, I need tough love. He knows what I need and he knows what I need to hear and feel to make the right choices. The thing is.....is I want to listen. I say almost everyday.....Holy Spirit, think through me, live through me, love through me, speak through me. I even have it on my mirror so I can remember, that I want God living, loving, thinking, speaking through me.

I know I may blog about the same thing over and over, but I feel this is a good way for me to release my emotions. I want to look back when I start fully writing my book and remember what I was feeling and the steps and strength that I grew during this time. Thanks for everyone reading my blog. I hope I can be an inspiration or maybe a person NOT to be......a crazy woman!!! haha