Not a good day for me

I didn't have a good day today.  I know all my days arnt going to be perfect.  I was faced with something last night that I have been led to do.  I knew the day would come, and it did.  I also have something else I need to do and face and I'm not looking forward to it, but I know it needs to be done also.  I have faith in God more than anything.  I fully rely and depend on him to take care of me and my needs.  The things that I'm struggling with, the devil keeps throwing back in my face of guilt and I know its him.  I didn't realize that sometimes when we need to do Gods will, it will hurt people.  I also know that the next thing that I need to do, will make this person mad.  In fact, they will have everyone else saying what I'm doing is wrong, but I'm not.  I have prayed and prayed about this and this is what I feel like I need to do.  So I'm going to do Gods will and this person will have to face and deal with God.  I have even been praying that God will touch their heart and it wont be as bad as I think it might be. 



I have been told that I have been too nice to people.  Now people who really know me, might be like.....yeah right....but at the end of the day, no matter who you are in my life, I want nothing but the best for you and happiness and that you walk right with the Lord.  I have realized that I can get ran over and used from being too nice.  I think that's why I naturally have this selfish personality and that I don't like sharing or loaning stuff out, cause it never comes back the way you hand it to them.  I can blame it on me being an only child too, but really that's not an excuse anymore. 

I really in my deepest of heart, what to do the right thing all the time.  There is a peace that lives within me when I have my goal set on doing right.  God knows my heart with everything.  He knows I tried to fight for my marriage.  He knows I tried helping this person, and I cant fix anyone.  I cant fix anything by myself.  I cant change people. Only God can!!! I cant be there for people, when I'm being used by them.  I have realized that its okay for people not to like you, so you can do whats best for you!!! 

Now with all this said and done.....its where it gets depressing on my part.  I am closing chapters really fast all at once and I'm getting overwhelmed.  Don't get me wrong, I'm eager to turn the page, but its kind of like a death in a way. 

I know this might sound a bit weird....but I feel blessed to of gone through everything that I have over this past year and in my life.  That God chose me and gave me strength to learn and be a witness to others.  This person that I'm starting to see of me, I LOVE!!!    If none of these events would of happened in my life, I wouldn't be who I am turning into.  I hope one day my future husband can appreciate the trials and ups and downs I have faced and can be thankful for it made me the wife he could have. 

My friend Dani Miser put on her face book....

SOMEtimes the most difficult thing to do is the BEST thing to do!

 I wrote her and told her that its what I needed to hear for the day and the problems I was facing and what I had to do.  She wrote me back and it said this..... 

 Ya know, I wasn't online when that quote came to mind and I felt like God wanted me to hurry up and get it on there...It was for you, my friend! Trust and obey and you'll be happy in the Lord...It will be hard at first but joy comes in the morning...remember the verse, weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning!

 I love her!!!!  God brought us together.  She tells me what I need to hear.  I can relate to her and the choices she had made her life.  She wrote the book, "Single Woman seeks perfect Man", and I encourage anyone who is out there man or woman to read the book.  It really is based on scripture and God showing you the mate he has for you.

Well, its officially 3:00am on this Thursday morning and I do I do hope this day is better than before!!! 

God Bless my friends!!! I love you!!