The past week I have tried to stay focused on God and not lose sight. I don't want the world to come in between my God and I, and what He has in store for me. I don't even want one day to pass by that I didn't spend my time with God and in His word.
I go to church today, which I have to admit, I haven't gone in 3 weeks. Last week I did watch it on TV and spend my time with that. I had no excuse, but it was just one of those mornings where I didn't feel like rushing to get dressed and ready. So me and the bestie went to church today and I enjoyed the message. It was really about the end of time, but I got nothing out of that, instead it was like God was talking to me directly out loud through the preacher. He touched on a few topics that had me speechless.
The first thing he talking about was our gifts. As believers we all have a gift and to each person, they are different. It might be one gift or multiple gifts, but either way with our gifts, we can use them to glorify the Lord and reach different people that maybe another believer couldn't reach too. I do feel like God has blessed me with gifts or with talents that I do recognize come from Him. I do love to sing and dance, but don't do it in a public setting....lol.....I do my photography, I'm good at sports, I'm good with decorating.....just some things that I have an eye for or a talent or gift that I don't take for granted. But with this being said, I know I'm not the best writer or know proper English, words or punctuation when I blog. I re-read what I write sometimes and I'm like.....what in the world are you talking about? lol God has been putting this fire in my heart for my book. I know I talk about it alot, but its so strong. Its getting stronger everyday. I'll be honest and say I really need to pray more about it and the direction God wants me to go down. I know that he will open the path way for my book to fall together and be published, if this is His will. I just need to get all the little puzzle pieces together and put them together. I know I'm not the smartest person out there and the best speaker or the best person to explain things, but I trust God and the purpose of me writing this book. I want Him to use me and the trials I have faced for his glory...........
Which that leads me to my next topic of what I felt God was revealing to me today at church. I feel like this book will bring glory to God. I don't want to this book to be about me. I want it to be about my life and what God has done in it. I want people to see my human side, my non perfect, troubled life and see all the good God has done in it. I want this book to give Him praise. I want people to see Him through me.
One thing that I prayed for last night, which I really don't say this kind of prayer, but I did, was I prayed for God to help show love to my friends, family, lover and to strangers. The kicker to that was, I put strangers in my prayer journal last night and this morning, the preacher said, "showing love to strangers". It just popped out to me. I would say that I'm nice to people I don't know. I'm nice until I get offended, but sometimes even then I push it to the side. I'm not 100% sure why this has been put in front of me.....but Ill take it and go with it.
The preacher also talked about watching people you know, especially believers going down the path of destruction and as you probably know, if you read my blog, that I talked about that the other night. He talked about if you see someone you know going through that, to not call them out, but to pull them to the side and talk with them. I know I hate to see people I love and care about choose to live the wide road to destruction. The two me
n that I ever loved, I feel have chosen that road and I pray for them every single day, but that's when I pray and let God deal with them. I know it was hard when my friends saw me go down that road. They prayed for me and shared with me everything I knew, but in the end, it was my choices. I don't regret that I did go down that road, I really don't. I have great memories, a love that I got to experience that I will carry with me till I die and I learned a huge lesson. I had officially popped the bubble that I had lived my whole life in and now I feel like I can share with the world, really all the great things God has done for me. I am slower to judge and quicker to understand. If you knew me before, you would know that I was little miss perfect. The little miss perfect that lived by the book per se. I wasn't perfect, but I stressed to do things right all the time and in turn ended up not being a good wife. Life really is this big lesson. I'm just glad that God has showed me the kind of person I need to be and He is still working on me. I know he will work on me till the day its time for me to go to my eternal home.I just love God. I love His son and how he came and died for me. I love how he blesses me, each and every single month financially. I really dont know how I meet bills and have extra every month, but he meets them. I also pray for a good job and I know he has something lined up for me, when hes ready to give it to me. I have been living off of faith alone and that has took away all my stress and worry. I give it to God and I know that things will fall into place. It might not always be my place or my time or anything like that, but thats where trust comes in. I trust God that with all my trials and even my divorce that something good will come out of this. I trust God that there is another man out there for me, that may be more suited for me. I trust God that my book will be published when its time to publish it and I trust God that my bills every month will be met. I pray to God to not spend foolishly and to cut back on things. I still always have a little extra to do stuff with. I actually LOVE putting my trust and faith in God, because every day He shows me His promise and His promise is Him taking care of my needs.
I want to share a little story this week about Gods funny little ways and quirks. Last week I get an email from my Wells Fargo account saying that my transfer didn't have enough funds. I didn't understand because I never touch that account and so I called them. They told me that their policy had changed and that I had to have a certain amount of money to keep it or I will be charged a fee every month. I had a savings and checking and it rotated money in it and collected interest. Well, I went down there Monday morning and got my money out and cancelled my account cause obviously it wasn't something that I used. That morning on Monday, my hair straightener went out. I have had a feeling for quite sometime that it was going to go out soon, since I had it forever. So even before it went out, I had researched it and the cost of them now since Mark got it for me like 4 years ago and it was a nice one, so nice that he added insurance to it. So I had an idea of how much it was going to cost, but that morning when it went out, I panicked and was like, "I have to have a hair straightener NOW, what am I going to do with my hair???" I kept calm, prayed about it and I felt like God wanted me to wait. I got paid Friday and wasn't sure how much and what my bills were. I had kept the money I got at Wells Fargo in my wallet the whole week and didn't touch it, so then I could see what I needed to do with it, if it needed to go to the bank, savings, or a new hair straightener. So Friday comes.....I look at my bills and I was short $20.00 or so. So I was going to put that Wells Fargo money to cover and then I had some extra. Well, I also was a little behind on tithe, which I had the checks written out, but I didn't turn em in, because I wanted to make sure I had money in the bank for bills. (I know, I know, tithe should be first) I had thought to just put the extra money left over in my savings and just wait on tithe, but then reality kicked in and I was like....."Rachel, this isn't even your money, deposit all of it and then pay tithe!!!!" I knew God was going to take care of me, because he knew my heart was to give it to Him. Its Friday and I realize that leaves no money for a hair straightener......I go back to look for one on Amazon. God had told me to wait, so I thought maybe it was for a longer period of time since I waited all week and didn't have extra. Then at the bottom was a hair straightener brand new for $20.00. I made sure she was legit....called my friend to make sure it was a hair straightener and not the kit it comes with since it was so cheap, prayed about it and ordered it off of a credit card that had a little bit of money on. Now I do hope this is the hair straightener....lol. It has already been shipped, so in a few days I shall see. But I did felt led to buy it. If everything works out and its everything that I thought, then God is good.....he knew I could wait and get it cheaper. Just like in my life now, he wants me to wait. He already has told me he has this certain specific man for me, I just need to wait. I do hope and pray its not years from now when I meet him and fall in love with him, (for all I know I already know him), but its going to be in his time and when I look back, I know Ill see the big picture.
So again.....God has blessed me....even when it comes down to a simple ole hair straightener!!!! :)
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