So the craziest part is.....I never met this lady. She told me that my mom had pictures of me at her desk up there and she remembered them. My mom would be gone 11 years this year. For some reason to remember me, or remember something from 10 years ago, considering Ive aged, blows my mind. I thought at first she recognized me because maybe I was starting to look like my mother, even though I have gotten that alot recently, but she said, it was from the pictures.
She told me that they had started at the same time and she adored my mother and she was special. She told me that my mom knew she was sick and she didn't know what it was.
*Story on my mother*
My mom was sick for about 6-9 months and she kept going to the Dr. and they kept telling her she acid reflux, when she really had ovarian cancer. When she finally did go to another Dr., that Dr told her to go to the hospital ASAP and she ended up with surgery. Well, in that surgery, they cut my moms stomach muscles in half, so she could no longer have surgery again. My mom ended up going to Baylor in Dallas over the next 2 years to a specialist and I remember my mom telling me if they wouldn't of cut her muscles in half, they could of gone in and they would of probably of gotten it all. But since they couldn't, she had to do chemo. My mother always told me, if I got sick or if something big happened to where I needed to see a Dr or specialist, to always go to a bigger city like Dallas and get it double checked. So I did that when I found out I had cancer, and the Dr down there said he would do the same thing the Dr up here was going to do. I'm thinking I might go into more detail in another post about my mother one day soon, considering this isn't what this post was going to be about.
So the lady told me that my mom would sit there and sweat and tell her, "Barbara, I know something isn't right with me, something is wrong." I think or I should say, I know, when your that young as a child, you really don't want to believe that something bad could happen. My mom knew I stressed really easily, and to this day I still do. I would rather NOT know something, so then I wouldn't have to worry about it. I'm learning more and more as I get older though, to just give it all to God, but hey.....we are human and we still worry over things we cant control.
It was a nice moment there to just talk to someone who knew my mother. Its like God knew I needed that. I have been thinking for about a month now, what it would be like to talk to my mom today. You have to think that when I was young, my mother would talk to me about age appropriate stuff for a 15/16 year old and yet at the same time preparing me for my whole life. I wish I could talk to her about my divorce and about starting over. I wish I could give her a hug and cry on her shoulder. But at the same time, I pretty much know that my life wouldn't be what it is, if she was here. None of the things that has happened in my life would of happened. I really don't think I would of married Mark, just because he moved up here and lived in the house that would of been hers. So therefore, nothing with him in it would of happened, my whole life would of been different. So I can only sit here and wonder what it would be like to talk to my mom, to hear her and taken in her advice.
No comments:
Post a Comment