Romans 5

I was reading in my Bible today and I read Romans chapter 5.  Wow, it was powerful to me!! I even stopped and re read it.  I know I must talk about my book alot on here and I was telling a few of my friends the other day that I feel like God is preparing me, but its not quite time to start.  I have prayed everyday for God to show me and put in my heart when He wants me to sit down and start.  I can feel in my soul, that I know what I'm waiting on, but I don't know how to explain it.

So today in my Bible study, in Romans 5 it said this:

5 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

² By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
³ And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
⁴ And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
⁵ And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Theres more to the chapter and its all good, but this is what really stood out to me.  In my life, with this transition, I need Peace.  I am fully trusting and having faith that Gods plans are better than my own.  I have surrendered and I don't want any choices or decisions that I make, be against God or what he wants me to do.  It says that we need praise God in our tribulations (and we need to praise God in our good times) for they work patience and patience leads to experience and experience, hope.  

Have you ever thought that each trial you may have endured, how your character changed or your outlook on life changes?  I look at life totally different than alot of people.  I know that life is short (cancer), I know that I have no control over my body (miscarriage and infertility), I know that I cant make someone stay with me (adultery), and I know that we all fall short of the glory of God and not worthy of his love (adultery).  

During this part of my life I know that God is teaching me patience.  I wait.....I wait on everything, but do you realize that in the time of me waiting, He has shown me so many things?  He has shown me that He will take care of my needs financially.  He has shown me I am loved, even by the 2 men that I have loved.  He has shown me that this new part of my life is going to be worth waiting for.  

Don't get me wrong....I still think about "when" God is going to show me who my mate is or "if" I will ever have children.  God knows my heart and I don't even have to say anything, because he hears my cries.  My whole mentality has been changing the past few weeks since my divorce and my desires are starting to change and refocus on Gods work.  

I don't know when I'm going to start and I really hope people arnt looking at me like Its never going to happen and I just keep talking.  I have been saying this for years about my book, so many people knew I was going to start.  I haven't felt more sure of it, then now, this part of my life.  I pray and wait, as God reveals memories and shows me people and things that need to be in it.  I have been writing lists of things he has reminded me of, so I wont forget when I do start.  I still have the same title in my head of what my book should be called, but its already a book called this by a famous person.....but I wouldn't mind sitting next too on a book shelf.  (hehe)

So these are my thoughts from today..........I hope everyone is having a good week so far.