Becoming unattached

I was sitting in the movie theatre watching "The Vow" tonight with some friends and was just thinking of you. I was thinking of the man that you were and the man that you have become. I understand people change, but to not to this extreme. If this is what you want, then have it. Take it, live it, love it, because I can feel me slowly becoming unattached to you. Maybe this is why God wants me to wait. Maybe this is why God wants me to have my time to myself to reflect on who I am and who I am becoming. Maybe this is why God wants me to remain a faithful wife, to see that my husband wont change and wont be who he was or even better of a man. To not having regrets later on in life, wondering if I could of done something or waited longer. There will be a day, when God says, Its time. Its time to move on with your life and start a new chapter. Its time to meet the new man that I have prepared for you. One day, I wont be your wife waiting on you, praying for you, hoping that you would stop living this sinful lifestyle and you will be on your own.

I actually wrote this during the movie. I don't know why it came to me, but it did. So much, that I didn't want to forget.

"I feel myself slowly becoming unattached to you the farther you put yourself in sin. Maybe its time God is allowing me to slowly pull away so the pain wont be as painful."

The farther your going against God, the farther away I feel from you. I cant even feel you anymore in my heart as my husband. I cant imagine what God must feel. The good thing about this, is I'm at peace with it. I refuse to be in a relationship and especially a marriage where my husband is doing everything against God.

I hope one day, you don't wake up and realize what life could of been like. What it would of been like if you would of came back and tried. I know I wont have those feelings. The day you moved out and I still told you that we could work our marriage out, you left. A year later, I told you, I am willing to fight for us and our marriage, your still gone. I can feel my time slowly getting close to the end and I'm feeling God preparing me for something else. I can only put so much into this marriage alone and if I'm not getting any help or effort on your part then theres nothing. It takes 2 to be in a marriage. I am just totally putting all my trust and faith in God and I know in my deepest heart that He has a plan, a wonderful plan for me, because I am following and obeying him.

I will continue to pray for you!