Psalms 27

1The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? The Lord has taken away my fear for my life!! He is my strength and his strength is what keeps me going everyday!

2When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. The people who have harmed me, who have deceived me, who has taken away my husband, who has cursed me....I no longer worry about. I have given them to God, for they will have to answer for what they have done or is doing one day!!

3Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. I have faced many trials in my life. When life alone felt like my own war against me, I will be confident, for I have Lord on my side!

4One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. I know this world shall too pass and its not earning the worldly treasures, but its the ones in heaven. I will and want to seek after God and his will for my life!

5For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. I feel like God has placed me on this rock, this firm foundation, which is Him. I was in quick sand, sinking fast and he pulled me up and set me on his strong rock foundation. God has taken my troubles and has put me under his wing!

6And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. My enemies, I don't hate....instead I pray for. I praise the Lord all the day, for he has brought me out of darkness and has placed peace in my heart!

7Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. I pray daily to the Lord, I cry out to him the desires of my heart and my hurts and troubles. But God answers me, and tells me to wait!

8When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. I seek the Lord and I try and stay eyes first on him, I don't want to lose my face upon his! I want his will to be done in my life and the path he has set before me. I don't want to lose focus.

9Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. I strayed from God. I turned my face from God because I couldn't look at him with guilt. He never left, I did! But he brought me back to him, for he knew my heart was crying for him!

10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. Humans will forsake us, they will let us down, they will leave, they will pass away, but the Lord never leaves.

11Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. I want to stay focused on God no matter what. I want his path to be set before me and me go down it. I know there will be people coming from all different directions to stir me wrong. I want to be strong enough and have my faith so strong, that it wont defeat me.

12Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. This is another example of the devil trying to get people to stir me in the wrong path. But the Lord is stronger and bigger and he will deliver me from my enemies.

13I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. The Lord is so good, so loving that we cannot even imagine the Love that he has for us. He is of life and of living, to rein with him forever is something I can only imagine!

14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. My favorite!!! God has told me to wait, which is hard!!! Its a daily battle, but I do have faith and trust in Him that he has this plan for me that no one can see. I know right now, he is doing exactly that!! He is strengthening my heart. I have learned so much about the Bible and what the stories of God means. I have learned who I am, and I learn daily who I do and don't want to be. The devil tries to bring the old Rachel back up and I have to push her away, for she no longer exists. The devil loves to see the old me come up, because its not of God and of hatred. I want to be the submissive wife that God has and is shaping me to be. I cant wait till one day I can be the wife and mother that I have grown to be. That's my dream right now!! Brings a smile to my face.

I read Psalms 27 tonight in one of my 4 Bible studies that I do daily. It just totally touched me. Each scripture verse popped out. I feel stuck sometimes and I know God tells me to wait. Though when I feel like to wait, I'm that much closer to 30, and I'm that much closer to divorce and I'm that much closer to having to start over and finding someone and get married and have kids. I think that's going to be forever and I wanted to have my kids before 30. I know God can do anything, but I hate that I'm at this part of my life, knowing I'm probably going to have to start over. I feel like my husband is so far in sin right now. My friend said, she feels like he walks a line and sometimes hes dragged over to Gods side and then the devil pulls him back over to his side. But I know he doesn't love me anymore. I think he has tattooed in his head the old person that I was or she has convinced him how horrible I was and that I will always be the same. But who knows....he may never see the wife I could and can be. Maybe I will make someone happy and maybe and hopefully he can see who I am and hopefully never see the old Rachel. God has been shaping me and molding me and I cant wait to show who God wants in my life the woman that I have became in Christ! Hopefully it will be soon!! :)