So after the shot and feeling really sick, I went home and laid down and that night was fine. Mark took the next night off and stayed with me. He ended up going to his friends house for some football thing and he told me he was only going to be gone for about an hour. I didn't mind at all, because I was trying to be still and fine on the couch watching my shows. Then all of a sudden, I had this pain hit me. It slowly started, but it never went away. I was trying my hardest not to call Mark, thinking he was going to be almost done, and then he texts me and tells me hes half way done. I'm like, well you need to hurry cause I'm starting to hurt. I try and go to the bathroom and move around, but whatever I do, its painful. I tell my grandpa my situation, because he was in bed at this time, that I might pass out, and Marks not here, so if I do, then call 911. That's how bad it was. I called Mark and told him to hurry up. Mind you, he was by our air force base, which isn't close to my house. My grandpa got up and dressed just in case something was to happen. He was so worried about me, I knew he was going to cry, which he doesn't really, he just prays alot.
Finally Mark got here and took me up there. He seemed kinda upset, because we had gone to the ER the past few times in a week or so, and they didn't do anything, and he told me I should of took some of my grandpa pain pills. I had taken some Tylenol, but that did not do a darn thing. He ends up dropping me and then parking, because I can barely walk. They of course ask their million questions, and they asked what my pain levels was between 1 and 10, and I said 50. Mark finally came, they told me to sit down and I started crying. I was hurting so bad. I honestly thought I was going to die. I scared Mark more at that moment because he knew I had to be hurting if I was crying in front of everyone.
They finally called my name, it was only like maybe 5 minutes and sent me straight to a room. They came in faster at this point and was starting to hook me up and do all these things. I saw the Dr within 5 minutes. I told him what was going on and he told me he was going to call my Dr. So the lady starts putting an IV in my hand. She stopped, switched and said, " I'm going to put a bigger needle in, just in case you have to go to surgery". Honestly, I thought I was going to have too. I thought my tube was rupturing. During this time, I am about to pass out. I was sweating profusely. I'm talking about dripping. Poor Mark was trying to fan me for so long, and I know his hands was hurting. I know if he wouldn't of been fanning me, I would of passed out. I had asked for a fan, but they went looking for one and I needed one right then and there. I ended up throwing up, and they gave me some pain meds and nauseous medicine, oh and a fan!!! Then I got cold. But I was feeling alot better. I was trying to stay still and not move and the Dr came back and said,...." I talked to your Dr, and he said to let you go home, that everything you experiencing is normal". I'm like great!!! My Dr doesn't love me, lol. Normal??? Almost feeling like your going to die is normal? Don't get me wrong....they told me, its going to get bad. But after the pain meds, I did feel better. He also prescribed me some pain pills which has worked wonders.
On the other hand, after they....oh wait.....Also, another pain, was just urinating. It hurt sooo bad. That's why before I had went to the ER for a kidney infection. They told me, that I was probably dehydrated and that's why its like that. Sure enough, after they finished all the fluids they were giving me, I went to the bathroom and it didn't hurt as bad. But on the other hand, I started to bleed, which I had stopped after the shots.
Last night, I went out and ate with my husband, because I'm telling you, I have been feeling alot better, and I started to cramp. Cramping like, period pains. I was kinda confused, but I told Mark, I needed to go home to make sure and check on everything, before we went to the grocery store. I went home and went to the bathroom and I saw some small clots. Very small, not even a penny size, but I felt relieved. I started to think, these shots are working. I had read, where these shots didn't even work on women and they still needed to have surgery.
All last night I had strong period like cramps that came and went, about every 15 minutes or so. It wasn't a pleasant night to sleep, but I was still thankful it wasn't like the night before. Some clots have gotten bigger and I'm just thankful and hopeful this will work. I have read on the internet that some Dr's don't like you ttc again till about 3 months after each shot. Well I had 2 shots, so that would be 6 months. I'm not sure what my Dr will tell me or what he thinks. I did ask him how long this chemo is in my body and he said 2 weeks.
I still hope and pray that I wont need surgery. I really want a healthy and happy pregnancy and baby. I don't know the reason why I'm going through this, but I will not blame or be mad at God. Its so easy for us to question him and wonder why we go through things. I know its normal. But he has his reasons and I want his will to be done. I know my heart wants a baby, and I know that he wouldn't put it there if I wasn't supposed to have one. I have learned this summer, that I can still get pregnant, I can still be scared with a pregnancy, and I can still have faith in Him during the hard times. Life isn't easy and its not fair. I know we look at other people and wonder why we cant have what they have or why it cant be as easy, but we all know we have our own problems and issues and demons that we face that makes our life that hard. But there is only one person that can hold your hand through the bad and that is Jesus Christ. He has died for us and he is always there for us. He will never give us something that we cant handle. I know there are people out there that have it harder than me. Women who cant bare any children at all. I still have hope...I still have God on my side to feel my desire in my heart!!!
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