Next pregnancy

Ive been thinking alot about my next pregnancy. Even this past pregnancy, everytime I went to the bathroom, I said a quick prayer before I wipped that I wouldnt see any blood. I hope I dont have to worry about that the whole entire pregnancy. I know just the week, when I thought everything was fine, I was a nervous wreck. Maybe it was just my gut feeling, or maybe it was what I expereinced in the past, or could be both of them. I know after you lose a baby, you always have your concerns and being scared that something bad will happen. My dream is to go on to having a healthy and happy pregnancy, with a healthy baby and a healthy delivery. I dont want to have to worry about when the baby stops moving, that something is wrong.

Times like this are when we need to put our trust and faith in God. When we have no control over it and cant do anything about it. I now know when its my time to go home, right now I will have 3 precious babies, that I didnt get to hold. I know there must be so many baby angels in heaven, and I know when I get there, I will have my special babies waiting to run and meet their mommy. I can see my mom with them, waiting on me, when I reach the pearly gates. Oh what a wonderful day that will be.

I also see my friends babies playing with my babies. I know they know that their mommies are friends and know each other. I know God has brought me so many women in my life after losing our babies, and I know there is a reason. My friend Tina, has been there through it all, and I dont know what I would of done without her. She knows exactly how I feel, and although she went on and had a wonderful baby, she has been there and understood what Im going through. I know if we lived closer we would be really great friends and really close. Sometimes, I feel like just going to her house, just to talk to her, but then I think, she lives by the Canada border, and I live close to the Mexico border, lol. I know one day, we will meet and bond with our babies. :) Thanks Tina, I love you girl!!