Today I went to my cafemom account, cause I havent been there in awhile. Well I had made this friend on there that had a baby a year ago Saturday. We were friends when she was at the beginning of her pregnancy. She had the baby and I find out today that shes pregnant again. I mean dang.....I knew she was trying, but sometimes I feel like its not fair. Between her and her husband this is the 8th child. Im not saying she dosent deserve the baby or anything, but couldnt it just skip her in the meantime, and for me to get pregnant? I guess I just wish it was that easy for me. Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with Mark? Are we not meant to have any babies? Why are some things so much easier for people and yet Im waiting? Im already nervous to get pregnant and scared to lose another baby. What if I get pregnant and then lose a baby all over again and Im sitting here almost 2 years later talking the same way? Its taking so long to get pregnant that Im scared if I lose another baby its going to take so much more time to get pregnant again. Today I have felt bummed. I dont know why. I was hoping that I could surprise Mark for his birthday with a BFP test. But he didnt get that. I just dont know anymore......
Aww Rachel, dont be bummed and down. I dont know what you are going through at all, but I do know what you mean with some people have what you want and you want to know when you are going to have it. That is not a good way to look at anything, all it does it make you bitter. I dont have the answer for you and Mark, I wish I did, but only God has that. Gos holds the key to the door that you want opened. If you know in your heart that God told you that it was all going to work out then you need to trust that, and just give God all the glory, and just wait for Him to get started on you and Mark. I know how it is to want something so bad and see everyone else with it and you not have it, trust me. I wonder that all the time when I see a fine man with a UGLY woman. I always think why cant I get a man?! I know it isnt the same as your case, but I do know what you mean. I wish I could help you out with this, I really would if I could. I hope you know that. Just remember that conversation you had with God, and have faith in Him, and keep leaning on Him with all your might, and Rachel, you WILL get pregnant. =)
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