Love

Last night I watched The Notebook that came on Fox Family.  Now it wasn't the regular ole Notebook, they had put in extra scenes that they took out of the movie.  It ended up being like almost an hour of extra footage and if you love the movie like me, it was awesome!!! They actually explained more and how the Notebook came into effect and all that good stuff.  I was thinking about the kind of the love Ally and Noah had.  I know this is a movie, but I believe love really exists out there like them.  It didn't show hunky dory good ole time all the time, it showed fights, struggles, hard times and circumstances in their life.  I would love to have a "love" like they had.  I know it can exist, I know it can be possible. 

I'm a playful kind of girl and I need a man who is playful too.  I cant have a hard knock, boring kind of guy.  I don't like to be serious all the time, because life is too short to be so serious, but at the same time, I don't want a guy who acts like a kid all the time.  I want someone who is balanced out and we do things on the whim and not think about it.

Ive been thinking about love lately.  I have been thinking about when God will show me the person I was meant to be with.  I know I say this every once in awhile on here, but really its been on my mind alot.  Watching The Notebook made me think alot of it yesterday.  Also, the past few days I have been listening to a song from Fireproof "Life is not a fight".  It started making me think about my past marriage.  The video shows him fighting for his marriage and trusting God that somehow he would perform a miracle to fight for their marriage.  God, in the story, touched and saved their marriage and they both dedicated themselves and marriage to Christ.  That wasn't my story in my life, but that's okay!!!!  I know I did everything I could and at one point, earlier this year, I was him (in the movie) fighting!!!  I don't regret anything, but it really opened up my mind and heart to the kind of wife I want to be in my next marriage. 

Marriage is a partnership.  Its a dedication to the Lord, till death do you part.  The other day I was in a debate on facebook about the Bible.  I had a man throw my divorce in my face.  I hated that, I hated that I was accused of something that wasn't my fault.  Mind you this was a man who was separated from his wife and thought having sex with other women in the meantime was okay, but still stood there and proclaimed his testimony in this debate.  I get it....I know we arnt perfect and we have our opinions on things, but that's a clear statement in the Bible, but I'm getting off topic here.........

Marriage is huge to me!!! I think that's why alot of people don't get married, because that's a decision that's permanent, for the most part and so they get scared and think being boyfriend/girlfriend is okay.  If you arnt sure if you would marry the person you are living with, then maybe you shouldn't be together.  Why I'm bringing this up, is because I had another debate on the Internet the other day about this.  Ive been kind of on fire lately with debates. lol   Another topic that urks me, is "well I think sex before marriage is a must, because sex is very important in a relationship and it needs to be tested".  SERIOUSLY?????  Why doesn't Jesus just blow up the world now.....I mean, come on!!!!!!!!  I get that sex or should I say "making love" is important, but no matter good or bad, that's not why I would marry a person.  "Well that's you!"  RIGHT???  Isn't that what people say???  I'm me, and you are you, and we all think different and have different beliefs.  I guess some arnt scripture based (obviously).  I used to get in these kind of debates all the time.  I need to stop now.  I just don't understand, like I honestly cant grasp and get my head around why people think its okay to live in sin.   I DID IT!!!!! I would cry at night before going to sleep, cause I know my relationship with God wasn't like how it was.  It ate at me!!! For the first time in my life when I lived that way, my relationship with God fizzled out.  I'm not blaming anyone, other than myself, cause I made those choices.  Physically I was happy.  I had someone who loved me, who made memories together, we played around and just had amazing times together.  Spiritually, I was the most miserable I had ever been and its because I knew I was doing wrong and I knew it wasn't what God wanted from me.

I think all these thoughts came about when I was thinking about my year this year.  I was also thinking about my New Years Resolution and really each month and what it entailed.  I was going through the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and it just made me think.  Of course I always think, it never stops.  I was also wondering what next year would be like and what I would be doing around this time next year.  I guess we will wait and see!!!! Im excited!!!! :)

This isn't honestly exactly where I wanted this post to go, but I'm in a time crunch cause I have to get ready for work.  Maybe later I can blog about it more........maybe!!!