uhh, yeah....

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, actually in a couple of hours.  It really makes me think about this year and how different it is.  It makes me think of the years past, but also what the future ones could/will be like. 

I love how more and more independent I get each day.  My tire looked low today, so I went and aired it up for the first time.  I know something like that might sound petty, but I never have done it before.  I always had a man in my life to do it.  Another thing is, is I'm cooking my Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, pretty much all by myself.  I am excited!!!  I have everything down that I want to do and I hope to take tons of pictures to share with you tomorrow. 

I went tonight and went to the movies to watch the last movie of Twilight (Breaking Dawn pt.2) with my friend.  I already knew how it was going to end even though there was a twist, because....well.....its what I do.....I go for spoilers. 

My mind has been racing tonight.  I start a subject and then I stop and forget what I want to say.  I have been feeling like this all week.  My body has been feeling funny, I'm not sure whats going on with me.  One night I woke up with an upset stomach, the next night, I was throwing up, then today I was exhausted and not very talkative, but all that going on, I feel fine.  Its really bizarre!

This is a song that I'm listening too, while writing this *Dear Friend* .  I was sitting here watching a Youtube song and this one from 10+ years came to my mind.  I actually saw this girl in concert with Plus One and Rachael Lampa back in like 2001 in San Antonio, before I met Mark "officially".  Maybe that's whats putting me in a funky mood, its kinda depressing.

So something that has been laid upon my heart like no other for the past 2 days is this...............God  (mind you, I have been praying and praying for this) has been laying on my heart my future mate.  Sometimes in the middle of the day, I will get this overwhelming feeling, that makes me silently bust out in tears.  Their tears of happiness and excitement and peace and faithfulness to the Lord that Hes going to give me THE man that He has created me for. To know in my heart that I don't have to search, I don't have to look, that I just sit back, enjoy life and wait is just this amazing feeling that I cant even explain. 

I was riding in the car with my grandpa today and I asked him, "When you were praying to God for God to send you your soul mate, how long did you wait?"  He said about a year.  I then asked him how did he know.  He said, you cant really explain it, you just know.   I'm like.....100% sure, I'm just going to know.  This might sound silly, but its like like when Jacob imprinted on Reneesme, he just knew.  I know, I know.....your probably reading this, like " Are you serious right now Rachel?".  But you have to really think about it, he took one look and knew, everything in life made sense.  Now I'm not saying its going to be this big Revelation of my life, but hey....then again, you never know :)  

I cant wait to the end of December ,for me to blog about my emotions this past year.  Each and every month had something in it.....it had a lesson, a drive,  dedication, determination, heartbreak and joy.  This has been a huge year for me.  I am proud of myself with my handling's of my life and how things turned about.  I couldn't of done anything without Gods help and the things he placed on my heart.  I honestly, do feel so much stronger and I have changed........for the better, for the better me, for the better person who i am in Christ.  Some of my dreams have stayed, some of them have totally changed.  I also look at people totally different, but still tend to trust them more that I think I should.  I think that's always going to be me.  I just know now, how fast one person can change a persons life, but hey....I survived and I'm seeking God more and more.  I wouldn't of changed a thing!!! :)  

If we only knew, when we are going through a storm or a trial in our life,  what the outcome was going to be, the person it was going to make us to be, and the strength and lessons we gained.  We wouldn't of learned what was being taught.  We need to go through the emotions of it all, even though it might stink in the moment.  God sees the final picture, even if you don't understand now.....always remember that!!!!